Hello Warrior Women!
I hope you are all having a beautiful weekend. Question: Do you feel at times your being super independent has hurt just as much as it’s helped? My topic today is around the idea that we gals can be too independent. Hmmmm. Ponder that. Could it be true?
It is a topic that has come up with clients and my friends. Being an independent, strong woman is something we all strive for, but can it be detrimental in us being a BALANCED, strong woman? I came out of the womb as Miss Independent! My mom said I started walking at 7 months because I didn’t want the help or to be held for very long. She said I would pull on the bottom of the fridge, grab my bottle and put myself down for a nap. (raised eyebrow) I know I have carried this throughout my life and I can see where it has been a hindrance at times. We need people! Do you find yourself unable to ask for help because you don’t want to appear weak? Has this striving to be independent escalated to an unhealthy level of “I don’t need anyone…I can take care of myself…. I got this”? We want to be able to put a roof over our heads, take care of ourselves, succeed in our careers ALL on our own. Our generation of women believe we can “have and do it all”. I certainly believe that, but I also believe that we can actually flourish and be more successful, balanced and happy when we DON’T try to do it all ourselves and we allow others to help us. I’ll share a very simple example… my husband prefers it if I allow him to carry the groceries in instead of me trying to schlep it all by myself. Even after all these years, I still go into my normal “independent mode” and try to do it all myself. This has been something I’ve had to grow through in my marriage. It’s about us owning our femininity as well and allowing men to be chivalrous. We’ll expand on that in another post!
When I visited Africa I observed how everyone pulled together as a team. Whether I was at the orphanage or at our friends home, everyone rallied together to get chores done, cook, clean and take care of the smaller children. The women helped one another do just about everything. It was so beautiful to watch. We are losing that sense of community. We can be the Lone Ranger-ette and take pride in being independent, yet I think we’re all longing for more help and more connection. Like everything in life, it all comes down to being balanced. I think it’s a wonderful thing to be independent, self-assured and to be able to think for yourself. I am just seeing women all around me wearing themselves out.
THIS WEEK I WILL……..
- Strive for excellence not perfection.
- Realize I can have it all, but I may need others to help me get there.
- Take pride in my independence but not at the expense of sacrificing my balance.
- Reach out for help if I need it w/o feeling weak.
- Look for ways to help in my community.
- Nurture my femininity.
- Wear something totally fun and girlie like a hot pink top or lipstick.
- Not feel guilty about leaving some things unfinished at the end of the day.
- Lose the Lone Ranger-ette persona.
- ASK FOR HELP WHEN I NEED IT!
- ASK FOR HELP WHEN I NEED IT!
What about you? What are your thoughts?
Comment, tweet, like and share this post if it resonated with you!
I hope your week rocks!
Love, Tiff
SANCTUARY OF STYLE 
This is me to a “T”. I rarely, if ever, ask for help until the point that I’ve either worn myself out or gotten in way over my head and even then it’s a struggle to do so for fear of appearing “weak”. (And then I wonder why there’s no one around to ask.) Food for thought on this snowy Sunday morning. Thanks, Tiff!
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Guilty! So true.. over-independence can be isolating, lead to martyrdom, and yes, deprive our sweeties of being our heroes..yikes..not healthy. As always, your reminder is so insightful and important…Chill out and reach out! Thanks, sista!
This is definitely me. I have always been a very strong woman and have really had to learn to embrace that vulnerable side of myself. It is through learning and growing that I have come to understand that true strength as a woman is being strong enough to be vulnerable, accept help, and not do it all. This is a beautiful post and reminder that connection is born from allowing in relationship with others.
I totally agree with the idea of owning our femininity and reclaiming feminism as a movement striving for balance. Awesome article.
I have been so strong even when I was married, I’ve been single for 6yrs. I’m the everything around the house,I would like some help from some one.