Happy Sunday Sistas,
As you all know, I am in a new season of life, in a new city and loving the fresh start. With that comes moments of both anxiety and excitement. Anxiety because I’m getting reacquainted with a city that has changed SO much from when I previously lived here, but more so- I think it’s because I have changed. I admit it is a good kind of anxiety- if there is such a thing. Excitement because I am connecting with wonderful women who are full of purpose, passion and integrity. Plus, the fact that I can drive down to visit my parents gives me tremendous peace that I haven’t felt in years.
Over the past few weeks, I have had several convo’s with women from all walks of life- single career women, wealthy stay-at-home moms and women in ministry. These conversations were some of the most authentic, genuine and flat out no B.S. talks I’ve had in a while. A great take-away from each encounter was the realization that I was free from the need to prove myself to any of these women. After years of searching for approval from others and desperately trying to prove myself and my worth- here I am…Tiff, no labels, no titles, no resume, take it or leave it, just as I am…
Everyone is climbing that mountain and running the race to see who can get to the top or cross the finish line first. Our ego’s want to be fed with that false need to prove something and say “Hey, look at me!” The flowers don’t beg for attention and open up when they are ready….when they have had adequate water and sunlight. It’s a simple analogy, but we could learn a lesson or two from them. They are all equally beautiful so does it really matter which one blooms first? We hear “enjoy the journey” on a regular basis, but are we all so consumed with that finish line or mountain top that we keep ourselves in a state of misery, comparison and competition? The beauty of the journey, the climb- is the growth and strength that’s achieved. Do not try to bypass it or you’ll miss out on your Destiny. There’s really no fun or sense of adventure in life if you went straight to the mountaintop. Sting made a profound comment in the documentary “Twenty Feet From Stardom” about the kids that win “American Idol” at an early age. They are given instant fame, recognition and money- BUT, if they have not had some degree of personal growth they will not sustain a lasting career. They do not have the tools or Spiritual growth to keep them at the top for long. (I’m paraphrasing, but that’s the gist of it)
Often, I call myself a “late bloomer” and I’m okay with it. My entire 20’s were a time of seeking, self-loathing, fear based decision making and complete confusion. I didn’t start understanding myself…forgiving myself and others…until I was in my early 30’s and allowed God to take over. Remember, before a flower can bloom- it has to first grow underneath the soil, in the darkness and start out as a sprout. Whether you are fully bloomed or barely a sprout today- appreciate where you are and do not compare yourself to others. Don’t try to rush your growth and bypass some of the essential healing and lessons that MUST be learned. That’s a recipe for disaster. Each season, each stage of growth reveals amazing aspects of ourselves. Many stages are downright painful and challenging, but oh so glorious on the other side. That’s how we truly understand who we are, what we want to do and how we want to live our life. We have to go through the dark times in the dirty parts of life in order to really appreciate when we are…
standing tall and blooming like the tulips above.
If life is to be compared to a race- I’m in it for the long haul, the marathon. Not a sprint. I know I used several analogies from a race to a mountain climb to flowers, but I trust it helped to drive the point home. I see so many women who are wearing themselves out trying to prove they are successful, prove they are superwoman or the world’s greatest mom. Do not live your life by someone else’s definition of success. I may not have the biggest bank account, but I have a thriving marriage and healed relationships within my family. God is leading me every single day in my purpose to empower women. Heck, the fact that I’m even alive and breathing and not strung out on drugs somewhere…that is success to me, HOLLA!
How has the need for approval derailed you? What is stopping you from living life at your own pace, on your terms? Are you distracted by the need to keep up with the pace of other’s? Are you disconnected from your Spirit and trying to take the wheel away from God? It is so exhausting and you’ll stay on the “road always traveled” then end up living someone else’s life. If that’s you today, please put it in “park” and reevaluate your route.
I would love to hear your thoughts.
Cheers to blooming when you are good and ready!