Hey, Hey, Hey!
Are you conscious of your behavior after a phone call or coffee date with a certain friend who brings out your weaknesses instead of your strengths? For example, you chat with a dear friend who is always complaining and venting her drama- complete with a few curse words for punctuation- and the rest of the day you are whining, focusing on your burdens instead of your blessings and cursing like a sailor. Trust me, I am no Miss Priss and have a fiery personality so a few curse words may fly out of my mouth when I get heated. Not proud of it- just keepin’ it real. As I always say- I’m a work in progress! My point is how interesting we are as humans to emulate and model those we hang around. We may be Spiritually-conscious and awake with our shelves filled with self-help books, but it is easy to get sucked in to the chicken coop instead of rising above and soaring like the eagle that we are.
I love listening to T.D. Jakes during my power walks and a few days ago he said one simple phrase that struck a chord in me. He said, “Are you associating with people who bring out the wings in you or the worm in you?” Obviously, he’s referring to the beautiful idea of transformation through the butterfly. I posted this on Facebook, but wanted to elaborate and start the discussion here on the blog. We are always in a state of growth and transformation- at least I hope we are! I realize you have joined this community because you place your personal growth, development and empowerment as a priority. As an ‘instigator of change and an ‘agent of transformation’, I thrive on constant growth. The minute I feel stagnant in any area of my life- I’ve got to switch things up, change the behavior and expand a bit.
We can always be a little bit better today than we were yesterday and I will keep that philosophy until I’m 85.
A vital aspect of our growth is who we surround ourselves with. Are you associating with those who challenge you to come up higher & encourage you to fly? A few of my girlfriends are gifted encouragers. They have the ability to hone in on someone’s strengths and lift that person up by pointing out and vocalizing these positive traits. They bring out the wings in that person! Don’t you love being around people like that?! Often times, we are able to reveal a strength in someone that they didn’t even realize they had. By doing so, we open that person up to their full potential which puts them in a position to fly.
On the other hand, we must be mindful of those who try to bring out the worm in us. You know that friend that likes to include you when she’s talking about her own short comings. She says things like, “We have a hard time losing weight because WE are just lazy”. Then you start questioning yourself, “Am I fat? She’s right- I am lazy”. {Record Scratch} Counteract it by kindly not accepting those negative words over your life and respond with something like, “I’m happy with my weight and work out 4-5 times a week. ‘Lazy’ is not a title I care to wear, thank you”. Of course, then there’s the family member who tries to make you feel bad that you are a ‘driven dreamer’ who appreciates nice things. Misery loves company. It takes all kinds to make the world go round and we can love them and learn from them, but we can also limit our exposure to them. When you’re around the critical ones, stand firm in your beliefs and positivity.
Make sure you are rubbing off on them and not the other way around.
ACTION STEP: Take a look around you. Who do you spend the most time with? Wing peeps or worm peeps? Make a conscious effort to spend more time with friends who are positive and living a life of excellence & purpose! Those who speak about life with enthusiasm. We all have a Destiny to fulfill so it’s crucial to associate with those who help you come up higher and stay on your path- and vice versa.
We become like those we hang around. Surround yourself with those who like to soar. Be the wind beneath each other’s wings!
As always, I love to hear your thoughts.
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Love, Tiff
P.S. Don’t forget about the fun Summer Kickoff Giveaway happening! Details on the 7 Summer Drugstore Steals post. Ends June 6th. Win a few products below OR a Target gift card plus the new Aaron Hendra Project CD & T-shirt.
SANCTUARY OF STYLE 
Great post and great reminders to vocally rise above and not sink into someone else’s mire! 🙂
Amen sista! Rise.. not sink. Love that!
I really am trying to better my life and in part, it’s thanks to discovering you on YT. I have Bipolar Type 1 Disorder. I was diagnosed a year after graduating college. I was in an abusive relationship at the time and I think that led me to my absolute breaking point. During this period in my life however, I was a runner. I ran 6 miles a day, ran in races and also weight trained. I went through a very happy period a few years ago in which I got back into the training. But lately, I wonder where the strong, assertive woman I used to be went. So lately my new thing is to track my moods day to day. And to force myself to do things even if I don’t feel like doing them. You are so on the money when you talk of the family member who resents the fact that you are a “driven dreamer” that enjoys nice things. I deal with that. In my family, amongst my 3 siblings, I am seen as the “high maintenance” one. And I’m honestly not. Do I like nice things? Yes. Is it my money to spend on a piece of jewelry or clothing item I want? Yes. Am I a dreamer that follows her own path? Yes. You help me immensely with your words of encouragement. Thank you so much.
Sarah- you rock sista! Thank you for sharing your journey. It inspires me greatly!! The strong YOU didn’t go anywhere.. she’s still there. I have gone through those seasons in my life when I thought the same thing. Now, I’m grateful for those times because that’s when we really learn who we are and what we’re made of. Keep following your own path. I have several wonderful people in my life with Bipolar Type 1 Disorder who live life to the fullest.. knowing their boundaries, the importance of sleep, exercising and the right supplements. Funny, my friends and I have accepted the label as high maintenance if that means we live life on our terms. It will always piss people off because they wish they had the balls to do what you are doing! Just speaking frankly. Fly high Sarah!
It’s hard when you have a day when you realize the words that flowed from your head and out your mouth were worms to someone else. Not intentionally perhaps but because the barriers were down and you were less conscious than you should be. And by “you” I’m meaning me. I appreciate your blog and will continue to strive to have my words be wings. Hugs to you.