Hellooo Sassy Pants!

It’s Monday and here is your official ‘kick-in-the-bootie’ motivation. Usually, I give you a to-do list, but today I’ve got ten things we need to all QUIT doing:

1. QUIT PUTTING YOUR NEEDS/WANTS/DESIRES ON THE BACK BURNER. Women can fall easily in that “martyr mentality” and glorify how much they do for everyone else. There is nothing glorious about sacrificing yourself to the point that you no longer recognize yourself. When we take care of ourselves – we are strong, grounded and equipped to do for others. You want to go on a nature walk? Make it to that yoga class? JUST GO, GIRL.. and quit saying you don’t have time. You’ll be a happier, more peaceful-  mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter and co-worker. 

2. QUIT BEATING YOURSELF UP. You are not a punching bag. You are a beautiful human being and child of God. We all make mistakes. Forgive yourself, learn the lesson and move on. Take off the gloves and quit reliving it. 

3. QUIT HANGING OUT WITH NARCISSISTIC OR NEGATIVE PEOPLE. This seems like a ‘no brainer’ so why do we do it? Life is too short to waste time with people who drain the life out of you or do not value your worth. We all know those people who talk incessantly about themselves and can’t stop long enough to ask you how you’re doing. These people don’t get a lunch invitation from Tiff. Just sayin’. It always shocks me that someone can’t ask three simple words – how are you?  Those three words go a long way in my book! 

4. QUIT COMPARING YOURSELF TO EVERYONE. You, your gifts & talents, your path, your beauty, your voice & accent, your style, your ism’s, your laugh, your heart – all make up one pretty awesome chick so what’s the point in comparing yourself to anyone. Quit making yourself crazy, girl. 

5. QUIT TRYING TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF. Your true friends ‘get’ you and who cares what your haters think. When I moved to Dallas, where most women are mothers, I found myself trying to explain why my husband and I didn’t have kids. I never realized there could be a prejudice toward childless couples. I would go on & on about how we work with orphans and it’s God’s will for our life and how we briefly tried to get pregnant, but never wholeheartedly wanted to have kids. I got over that quick. If someone has a problem with us because we don’t have kids- that’s their problem, not ours. 

6. QUIT TRYING TO MAKE EVERYTHING APPEAR PERFECT. The Stepford Wife Syndrome is still alive and kickin’. Perfect is boring. Be real… it’s way more interesting. Quit killing yourself trying to keep up appearances. It’s just stupid, really.

7. QUIT PUTTING UP WALLS. We’ve all been hurt by family, friends, boyfriends, spouses, bosses. Allow yourself to heal by forgiving them and moving on. When we put up walls we often sabotage  potentially great new relationships. Plus, being bitter, closed off and hardened is not pretty. 

8. QUIT STARVING YOURSELF. I’m guilty of running around and not stopping long enough to eat a nutrient rich meal. Busy women either go without or they shove a bag of candy down their throats for the sugar rush. QUIT THIS PLEASE! Love yourself enough to stop and fill your tank with a healthy meal. Depriving our bodies leads to so many other problems from illness to depression. 

9. QUIT LIVING IN THE PAST OR TOO FAR IN THE FUTURE. This is part of the human condition we all suffer. It is virtually impossible for most people to be fully present 24/7. It’s important to be conscious of how much we are dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Catch yourself and stop your thoughts. Be present. Look around you. Listen to your breathing. Take a deep breath and exhale it long and slowly. This will bring you back to the moment. Women do not breathe deep enough.

Do Me A Favor…………Right Now………………Inhale………………Exhale………………..Smile.   

10. QUIT COMPLAINING. This really needs no explanation. Just quit it and watch your blessings flow.


Which of these resonated with you the most?

Have a fabulous week! 

Love, Tiff



  1. Yes!!! So many great points. I think they all point to women being guilty of self hatred- the harder we try to become who we want to be the guiltier we feel about a)taking time for ourselves and b)giving in to cultural ideals. So the more successful we are in all areas of our lives from career to our appearance, the more we hate ourselves for the success. F*ck everyone- I am who I am and if I want to strive for perfection I am going to- my kids are fed and husband’s underwear is folded- i have earned the right to be whoever I want to be.

  2. #5 also resonated with me. I have one child and feel like society is against us “only child” moms too. “When are you going to have #2?!” “Don’t you want to give your child a sibling?” “Your first one is too cute not to have a second!” “Why would you only want one” etc. I beat myself up over feeling “selfish” about this all the time. I usually just appease people by saying “oh we’ll eventually have another” just to try and cut off the conversation. People and society are never satisfied, whichever route you take!

  3. Im new in the Hendra-community..And since ive found youre video’s,ive been glued tot the screen eversince.I think i watched all your video’s in 3days!! And i mean all of them. I had some days off and i really could relate with the things you were saying.You are a true inspiration.

    Love from Holland

  4. Pingback: ARE YOU SABOTAGING YOURSELF? {Candid Vlog} | Sanctuary Of Style

  5. I am a childless by choice married woman, and am astounded that people, sometimes complete strangers, feel they have the right to comment on your chosen family structure! I am also a stepmom, so all the haters that used to tell me “Only selfish women don’t have kids” can SUCK IT – I raised someone else’s child who needed me, and she’s wonderful. Who’s selfish?

    On the negative talk, this is something I learned by example from my mom, and have worked hard for several years to combat. It’s amazing how contageous both negative and positive thinking/talk is. If you make a point to direct your thoughts and conversation to the positive, it’s amazing how many blessings you’ve previously overlooked will be revealed to you, and you can bring that habit to others in your life just by your example. I’ve had to make some choices in my friendships to help support this, spending more time with people who have the same mindset, and agreeing to help each other hit “reset” when one of us has had a bad day or is down or stressed. It works!!!

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