A few weeks ago, I had a beautiful long girl’s weekend with my sister. These moments are so cherished now that we’re adults because we truly connect, listen, laugh and even cry a bit. We share self-help books and spiritual concepts and well, she just “gets” me. We are from the same womb…cut from the same cloth. Ya can’t chat about deep spiritual stuff with just anyone so I’m especially grateful to be able to share this part of my life with my sis. During one of our conversations that weekend, I had one of those A-ha moments that Oprah always talks about. I realized that I am officially part of the “I Don’t Give A Damn What People Think Club”. Pardon my French, but hey – there’s really no other way to put it. Revel with me for a moment…
If you’ve been part of SOS for a while you’ve heard me discuss the concept of people pleasing and wearing masks to be what everyone needed me to be. It’s been a long journey of healing, moving on and learning to love myself. This is why the foundation of SOS is about self-love and confidence building and not just clothes. We all know you can buy the most amazing wardrobe, bags & shoes, but if a woman isn’t comfortable in her own skin – the outer fancy covering won’t cover up the internal mess. At least not for long. The truth always reveals itself.
Over the years of growth, I’ve had moments of really ‘owning’ it and marching to the beat of my own drum. Recently, I’ve even had a few friends tell me that I do – especially in regard to the way I dress or how I pick/choose the events I want to attend. Remember ladies, just because you are invited does not mean you have to say yes and accept. Especially when your family suffers not only from your absence, but also from your snappy attitude that comes from you being mad at yourself for saying yes. Sound familiar? I know many women battle people pleasing and seeking approval. It sucks the joy, peace & contentment right out of every fiber of your being and leaves you resenting everyone… and even more angry at yourself!
Oh, so you need me to be _________? Excuse me while I put on that mask so you accept me all while I diss myself. Ok, so now you need me to be ________? Hhhmmph. Let me find that mask real quick so you will feel comfortable while I go against my integrity, intuition, truth and feel completely uncomfortable. Many women get stuck in this rut and routine. It’s equivalent to living life in prison.
WHO WANTS TO BE PART OF THE FREEDOM CLUB?
WHO HAS HAD MOMENTS OF TIP TOEING TO THE BEAT OF YOUR OWN DRUM, BUT YOU ARE READY TO WHOLEHEARTEDLY STRUT EVERY STEP OF THE WAY?
It’s time to take ownership of your life! Do you really know what you want? I believe women who sway to everyone else’s beat and wear masks aren’t in touch with themselves and their needs. You certainly don’t have “doormat” written across your forehead so stop acting as if you do. PLEASE! When was the last time you asked yourself what YOU really want? Go have a chat with yourself today.
Love yourself enough to stand up for what’s best for you… even if it disappoints others. Their temporary disappointed will be gone tomorrow, but when you diss yourself – the disappointment you feel toward you will resonate for days or even weeks. Stop disappointing yourself and start standing up for yourself. Sound like a deal?
Respect yourself and your needs. How can you expect others to respect you if you don’t respect yourself and set healthy boundaries?
Give me your two-cents! Are you already struttin’ to your own beat? Share your a-ha moment. I love seeing my mentoring clients come to this realization! It’s truly life-altering to see women live their truth without apology.
It’s time to free yourself. Welcome to the club.
2 thoughts on “STRUTTIN’ TO YOUR BEAT”
How did I miss that you wrote in a blog? I’m a big fan of yours, and these are great words that I will pass this along to my 16 year old niece who is dealing with much of this–as 16 year old girls (and guys) tend to do… Thanks!
I am so with you Tiff! It took me 40yrs to have the confidence to be my true self and not be a people pleaser. I would rather be my true self any day of the week that pretend to be someone I’m not. Too much wasted energy. Nice to know that someone else on this planet actually gets this. WooHoo!