Every word spoken and action taken – all begins with a thought. We mold and design our lives with the way we think. Our thoughts have both creative and destructive power.

Are you creating the life of your dreams or do you sabotage and destroy anything good that comes your way?

What are the dominant thoughts you have toward yourself?

Regardless if we are conscious of it or not, our underlying beliefs about ourself shape our character, our health, our appearance, our relationships, our circumstances, and our destiny. No matter what their age, self-love is a sensitive subject with the women I mentor. Too many women are living life with a deep sense of hatred, shame and disappointment toward themselves. The choices we make, the men we date, our level of passion and purpose are all a product of either loving or hating ourselves.

What do you really think about you?

Since the beginning of SOS, I’ve shared how throughout my 20’s I lived in shame, fear and brokenness. I was trying my best to carry a ton of baggage that nearly broke my spirit all while appearing like I had it all together. I know many of you relate. Women are numbing themselves with dangerous things that appear to be harmless like self- medicating with alcohol, prescription meds, shopping and food. I know, I did it all.

Most of my decisions and actions came from a negative viewpoint of myself. I was not conscious of my thought patterns at all and would wallow in anxiety, complaining and misery. When I was tired of wallowing, I would numb myself. It’s simple – if we think high, noble and pure thoughts our lives will go that direction. On the opposite hand, if we think lowly, dark and hateful thoughts- well, you get the picture. It took years to realize I had to begin by forgiving myself for some of the stupid choices I made.

I did not think very highly of me. 

Because my mind was so polluted, it took a lot of work and God’s Love & Grace to clear it out. It reminds me of a car that has been smoked in for years. Yuck! It takes so much work and fumigating to clear it out and there’s always that tiny bit of residual smoke smell. So, you’re always spraying perfumes and hanging deodorants to mask the smell. My mind needed serious fumigating to get rid of the pollution I had accumulated over the years.

Love really was the ultimate fumigation system. My broken, shame-ridden heart had to be so filled with love again that it squeezed out all the pollution in my mind. Psalm 23:7 is a short, but profound verse, “For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he”. Get it? The verse is referring to the heart thinking when we typically view our mind as the starting point of our thoughts. God loved me all along, but I didn’t realize it. I had to learn to receive it.

The truth that you cherish about yourself in your heart (your private thoughts) create the vision in your mind then determines what you become.

Loving yourself and allowing God’s Love into your life is the foundation of you becoming who you are destined to be. What can you begin doing today to fumigate any lingering pollution? M. Scott Peck, M.D. – author of The Road Less Traveled describes self-love so clearly. “Self-love implies the care, respect and responsibility for the knowledge of the self. Without loving one’s self one cannot love others. But do not confuse self-love with self-centeredness.” 

• Begin with forgiving yourself.
• Take better care of your basic needs. Eat & sleep well, exercise, interact in healthy activities.
• Set healthy boundaries in your relationships.
• Learn to say no.
• Live with intention & purpose. 

LET THE LOVE IN.

Xo, Tiff