Category Archives: Friendship

What Was Your 2016 Highlight?

Posted on by

14206158_10153847533013372_8268970717292597895_o

Hello Gorgeous!

Did Santa bring you what you asked for? I hope you all had a Christmas weekend filled with fun. Now, we are leading up to ((drum roll))……..the new year! As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I try to take time out in December to reflect and begin planning for the new year. I caught myself constantly saying out loud “how hard the year was” and got sick of hearing my Negative Nellie taking over. I stopped myself and thought Yes, but it’s also been an amazing year of growth and preparation”. I began thinking of my 2016 highlights and blessings. WHOA! What an amazing year. This was so powerful I just had to write a blog post about it and encourage you all to do the same.

Ok, so one of my top highlights of 2016 was turning 45!  Ummm, yes– I was actually excited about it! Call me crazy. Specifically, the love fest luncheon my dear friend and spiritual mentor –Dr. Melanie Ross Mills– threw for me. It’s humbling to have so many beautiful (inside & out) friends unite for the sole reason of lifting you up. To give you a glimpse of the day…imagine walking into the most beautifully decorated dining room with a big round table so everyone could see one another. The table was set for princesses with orchids and gifts for everyone. The sunlight coming through the windows made the whole room even more “twinkly”. We wore pixie headbands and the champs was flowing. My bestie ordered the most extravagant and amazing cake complete with all my loves represented on it. Melanie said a beautiful prayer including a message to each guest. (talk about a kleenex moment!) She had each girlfriend prepare a sweet message for me which was made into a slide show. For someone who has struggled with “receiving”, I admit– this was a bit uncomfortable at first. But, I knew God was using these friends to pour love on me like a salve to heal my battle wounds from such a wild year. These women showed me the true meaning of “SISTERHOOD” in action.

Thank you Mel! I don’t know how your massive heart fits inside your tiny body!

It could not have been a more perfect afternoon! I will forever cherish that day and each beautiful friend in the photo above. At this time of celebration, reflection and anticipation of the new year, I encourage you to take a moment to think of the highlights of your year.  It’s been a challenging year for many of us and it’s easy to focus on the moments we felt defeated. Let’s focus on the wins!

 

 

I just read the following message about sisterhood by Claire Zammit, Ph.d and had to share it with you all:  

“Thank you. You stand for your own greatness and your commitment to supporting other women in realizing theirs will change and evolve our world.

I am so honored and grateful to walk side by side with you on this journey.

One of the other things I most want to appreciate today is the transformative power of sisterhood.

None of us can become ourselves by ourselves. (I looove that!)

We need to be mirrored, supported, challenged and championed by each other to come into the fullness of our power and to unleash our brilliance.

Let’s commit to this sisterhood.

Let’s go out of our way to support each other.

When we see a woman stepping up, let’s stand behind her.

When she stumbles, we can be there to help her up. 

When she is challenged, it’s up to us to fight for her.

And when she triumphs, we should celebrate her wildly.

I’m so incredibly grateful for the ways in which so many women in my life and this community have stood for me.”

I would love to hear what your 2016 highlight was. Please share and make a comment!

If you had a girlfriend(s) stand by your side this year please make sure to send them a note of gratitude and appreciation.

sign_xo

P.S. You still have a few more days to book your coaching sessions with my BOGO offer which ends Dec 31st! If you book a session, you get a session. ($300 value for $150) Don’t miss this opportunity to invest in yourself. I’ve been working with some amazing women over the past few weeks who took advantage of this offer. Iron sharpens iron and it’s powerful seeing the a-ha moments, shifts and confidence growing in their eyes! 

Sessions must be used by March 31, 2017.  Skype sessions available for out of towners.

SIMPLY USE THIS SPECIAL PAYPAL LINK TO BOOK NOW >> https://www.paypal.me/TiffanyHendra/150

Let’s step into 2017 stronger together! 

Advertisement

GIRLTIME IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH: Plan Some This Week

Posted on by

Hey Sistas!

Recently, one of my besties sent me this great reminder. I read this a few years ago, but in each season of our life messages hit us differently! I wanted to share it with all of you to encourage you to plan regular time with girlfriends who lift you up, challenge you to be the best you can be, who spotlight your strengths and love you unconditionally. Over the past few weeks I’ve been blessed by several empowering and uplifting moments with girlfriends. This is truly the best anti-depressant and it’s even good for our overall health. Read on…

FashionStars[Celebrating our dear friend Dawn Mellon as one of this year’s Fashion Stars for a Cause benefitting the Suicide & Crisis Center of North Dallas at the DCC. Photo Credit: Danny Campbell]

INTERESTING BIT ABOUT FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS.  They Teach It at Stanford:

In an evening class at Stanford University, the last lecture was on the mind-body connection — the relationship between stress and disease.

The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman. … . whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends.

At first everyone laughed, but he was serious. Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically, this quality “girlfriend time” helps us to create more serotonin — a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being.

Women share feelings, whereas men often form relationships around activities. We share from our souls with our sisters/mothers, and evidentlythat is very GOOD for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym.

FullSizeRender-16[GNO with LeeAnne Locken & Cynthia Smoot]

There’s a tendency to think that when we are “exercising” we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged? Not true. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking!

FullSizeRender-18[With Heidi & Erica Annise at PositiviTEA benefitting The Grace Project for women living with HIV/AIDS]

So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health!
We are indeed very, very lucky. So…. let’s toast to our friendship with our girlfriends. Evidently, it’s very good for our health. 

Love,

Tiff

BE A BETTER GIRLFRIEND: Mid-Week Affirmations

Posted on by

Hey Gorgeous Girls,

 

Friends_fashionista

 

The past few days I’ve been reveling in the genuine friendships in my life. I am so grateful for the girlfriends who have stood by my side for over 20 years and excited about the new friendships I’m creating here in Dallas. Women need each other.. we have this innate need to feel connected and the minute we feel disconnected- all hell can break loose in our life. I realize that I’m a better wife, daughter, sister, etc- when my love tank is filled up from meaningful connection with my girlfriends. With all the hats we wear, it’s easy to allow the responsibilities of life to push ‘girl time’ on the back burner. Be intentional with scheduling quality time with your beloved girlfriends. From a shopping trip, happy hour or a powerwalk together, it really is the best therapy! Do not let too much time go by without this connection.

This was an important part of the foundation of SOS when I created it. During lonely periods in my life (LA could get very lonely at times), I realized I would look forward to watching Oprah or Sex and the City because it felt like some sort of connection and girl time. As sad as that sounds, it’s the truth. Then, after my YouTube Channel began to grow, many women would tell me they looked forward to the kids going to bed so they could jump on the computer and watch my latest video. For that 5-10 minutes they felt like they had some ‘girl time’ after a long day of juggling kids, career and life.  I completely understood and this truth fueled me to keep on keepin’ on with SOS. That’s what sparked the idea of it being a SISTERHOOD. Now, don’t get me wrong- watching TV or YouTube does not replace the in-person connecting we so desperately need, but it proved to me that this ‘connection’ should be a priority in every woman’s life. Make girl time a priority. You need it and deserve it.   

 

Affirm it today. I will…

  1. Schedule girlfriend time.
  2. Give gratitude for all the amazing women in my life.
  3. Be a better friend.
  4. Open up to a trusting friend, remove the mask + share my soul. 
  5. Release any toxic friendships once and for all.
  6. Pray for my girlfriends.
  7. Nurture all the women in my life no matter their age. (even your 9 yr old niece)
  8. Listen without “one-upping” (thanks Brene Brown)
  9. Reach out the minute I feel lonely. (stop the wallowing before it starts)
  10. Not take my genuine friendships for granted.
  11. Toast to the fabulous friends in my life!

 

true_friends_siblings

Thank YOU for being part of this cherished sisterhood.

YOU are loved & appreciated.

With gratitude,

Tiff

3 Ways To Increase Your Happiness…NOW!

Posted on by

 

Happy Saturday Sistas,

Because our society has taught us an “I want this and I want that” mentality, our level of happiness can easily be destroyed. If you’ve been on this planet for very long, you have learned that the “getting” of these things is only a temporary thrill. So, why do we put ourselves through this happiness-depleting and joy-sucking misery of want, want, want. Is it because our friends have the latest handbag or because that commercial told us our lives would be better with that product or we are simply trying to fill a void in our life with “things”? Last year, I recommended a great documentary to help us put this in perspective called Happy on Netflix. It’s a great idea to watch this a few times a year. Just sayin’. 

A large aspect to my blog & webseries is helping/teaching women how to increase their joy by removing old ways of thinking that prevent them from living their most vibrant life. Hello, SOS! Wikipedia’s definition of SOS is “an international code signal of extreme distress or an urgent appeal for help”.

If you are in a state of “SOS” regarding your level of happiness, try these things NOW:

Unchain_my_heart_by_Cindaretta[Photo by Cinderatta]

I. OPEN YOUR HEART: I don’t think we realize how much we guard our heart or close it off because of past pains. You may have forgiven that person who hurt you, but you are still walking around with a closed heart. It could also be described as ‘living with walls up’. I did this for SO many years and I was miserable. Many of us starting living a guarded life as a young child. That was me and I can remember people saying, “you are such a pretty girl, you should smile more”. As I grew into a young woman, I just learned to wear a mask to appear happy. I could be whatever  you needed me to be. It took years to heal, but I am grateful to say — I live life much more open hearted now. If this is you, remove the armor around your heart by letting God’s love in. As His love floods your heart it will melt any armor, chains or walls. Then you are FREE to let love flow in and out of you. Talk about raising your level of happiness. Holla!  

photo-244

II. HANG OUT WITH SOMEONE WHO “GETS YOU”: Do you notice how crap you feel after hanging out with certain friends? You cant quite put your finger on it, but you leave their presence with a sense of unhappiness or unfulfillment. It’s that friend or family member who asks how you’re doing with that shallow and robotic vibe about them. When you answer, they have this glazed over look in their eyes.  They don’t “get” you, your lifestyle, mission or project. Go ahead and punch me in the gut why don’t you? Lord help me, I limit my time with these types of people now. If you are surrounded by dream crushers, seek out that friend or family member who embraces YOU just as you are with all your crazy passions and quirks. 

My sister just arrived to Texas and we will have our first family vacay in over 25 years next weekend. I am bursting with joy and happiness as I look forward to having quality time with her. She and I have had our years of squabbling, as most sisters do, but at the end of the day — we “get” each other. We both strut to the beat of our own drum, are pretty quirky and totally untraditional. I don’t have to guard my heart or wear a mask in her presence. WooHoo! 

thelma-and-louise

III. SING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS IN THE CAR: Have a “Thelma & Louise” moment minus the driving off the cliff scene! It is a scientific fact that singing loudly releases endorphins, our “feel good” chemicals. Singing on a regular basis could actually lengthen your life. One of my favorite things to do is drive fast down the freeway by myself with a great song (like anything by Miranda Lambert) cranked up and singing like a crazy lady — I don’t care how out of tune I am!

Feeling low today? Go jump in the car with your iPod or your fave CD and take a cruise by yourself or pick up your bestie who likes to be a crazy lady with you. I promise, you will feel happier sista! My longtime friend and soul sister, LeeAnne Locken, have been doing this for nearly 30 years. You should hear us sing Stone Temple Pilots…or maybe not. Hahaha! We’ve had many “Thelma & Louise” moments over the years. If you need daily inspiration, make sure to subscribe to her blog, Inspiration by LeeAnne Locken.

Join me in wishing LeeAnne a very happy & blessed birthday today! I’m grateful for the many years acting like crazy ladies together. She gets me! 

LeeAnne_madhatters[LeeAnne & I at this years Mad Hatter’s Luncheon]

What’s your go-to happy activity?

Open your heart, go grab a friend who you can be a crazy lady with and ya’ll sing Miranda Lambert at the top of your lungs. Just writing that out made me happier:-) 

Love, Tiff

Shut Up & Ask… HOW THE HECK ARE YOU?

Posted on by

Women_cafe

[Image courtesy of Vogue]

Hello Gorgeous! How are you? 

I trust you are having a fantastic weekend. You know what I’m going to ask… did you take some time to refuel and pamper yourself?  I sure did by restricting my time on social media and had a movie & nap marathon with my hubby. Last week was so interesting and full of great work situations as well as several coffee & lunch dates with friends. This brings us to the topic for today-understanding the power of those 3 little words, how are you? I have discussed this topic before, but feel the nudge to raise the awareness again. 

Because I surround myself with confident, loving and Spiritually- conscious women, it is rare these days when I encounter the opposite. So, when I do encounter an ego-driven, competitive and insecure type- I almost have an allergic reaction. Aahhhh-chooo! Seeking out new experiences and meeting new people is a way of life for me so I appreciate the learning lessons from each and every person. Whether it’s a positive or negative experience which makes my Spiritual allergies go haywire. We can’t live in a bubble surrounded by perfect people, but we can go boldly into the world prepared- mentally & Spiritually. 

You know those beautiful moments you sit down to lunch with that equally encouraging girlfriend and she’s as anxious to ask about you, as you are about her? Both of you leave feeling valued, loved, seen, heard and cherished. You leave the lunch with more pep in your step and feel that there was an even exchange of love & appreciation. It’s all about honoring and respecting one another. Where has the honor in our relationships gone? Of course, during a hardship- when one of you may need to dominate the conversation & just plain vent- it is understood. Sometimes a friend just needs your ear & shoulder and you know she will be there for you when that’s what you need. That is also part of the honor I’m speaking of. You honor her troubled heart with your care and attention. 

During an encounter last week, I chatted with a gal for about an hour. In that timeframe, she made sure to tell me all about herself including the exact amount of her salary without once asking me how I was doing. A few years ago, this would have totally pissed me off, but I left that encounter actually feeling sorry for her. You know my mission is for women to live a higher life, a more Spiritually connected and empowered life. I want that for this woman too! As I drove away, instead of wishing I could get back that hour of my life, I said a little prayer for her and reminded myself the importance of expressing interest in others.  

This sparked a convo between a few other friends who brought up times when they had gone through an entire  lunch with someone who talked about themselves the whole time without ever asking how they were. We all have experienced this and it makes us withdraw from nurturing those friendships. An enriching conversation between two empowered women is like a beautiful dance or a fun tennis match. One woman speaks then asks the other a question about themselves, their family, their career, hobbies, their life in general. This goes back and forth in a beautiful flow. How simple is that? When we have a convo with an insecure, fear-filled egoist it leaves us feeling like our ears were assaulted and the blood & energy was sucked right out of our bodies. I prefer the dance, how about you? 

Being present and interested in someone is one of the greatest gifts and expressions of love you can give them. We all crave and thrive from genuine connection. If you are one who nervously talks about yourself too much, I encourage you to read the powerful book, How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.  The basic principle of the book is to be interested in other people and their interests. Ultimately, it brings you more joy and raises your level of influence within your circle and community. An important thing we can do is to continue modeling this behavior to the ‘over talkers’ in our lives. Hopefully, they will feel heard and cherished then want to reciprocate this behavior to you. But, make sure you continue keeping healthy boundaries with these types of people as well. “Honor all people, love the brotherhood (sisterhood), fear God.” ~ 1 Peter 2:17. Let’s all listen a bit better, make eye contact and put those stupid phones away! 

  

What are your thoughts on this subject?

How do you handle ego- driven people?

Is being ‘present’ with others a priority in your life?

 

Wishing you a week full of respectful & empowered conversations!

Love, Tiff

 

A DAY OF LOVE

Posted on by

STVALENTINES_LUNCHEON

HAPPY HEART DAY HOTTIES! 

What does this day represent to you? To me, Valentine’s Day is “a day for the exchange of tokens of affection”. A kiss, a hug, a card, a smile, a wink, a pinch on the bootie, some chocolates, a phone call…whatever it is that expresses your affection and appreciation for those we love. As a little girl, my mom made a big deal out of Valentine’s Day and always surprised us with a beautiful card, maybe a cute necklace or earrings and plenty of candy. I will always cherish those memories! 

Really, every day is Valentine’s Day – but, with the rush of life it is easy to overlook those little love tokens.

February 14th helps us to refocus on LOVE. We all speak a different Love Language– words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch– via The 5 Love Languages, a must read book! In order to have strong & healthy relationships, it’s important to take the time to learn what love language your loved ones speak, but the thing we are all unified in understanding is simple KINDNESS. Webster’s definition of Kindness: “the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate”. Whether you are single and hanging out with your girlfriends tonight or have a romantic evening planned with a special someone-  let’s celebrate each other by showing MORE loving kindness.

This week I have been the recipient of an outpouring of LOVING KINDNESS and feel so blessed. I’ve been living in Dallas for 2 months now and have been embraced with open arms by so many wonderful people. The stereotype to describe peeps in the South as having “Southern Hospitality” is the honest truth. Wednesday, I was invited to join a table full of some of Dallas’ most fabulous (seen in photo above clockwise L to R) LeeAnne Locken, Karen Lukin, Christopher Wright, Steve Kemble, Dawn Belcher Neufeld, Jennifer Buxton, Jayne Chobot Herring – and Allyson Aynesworth & Hamilton Sneed (not shown) at the 30th Annual Saint Valentine’s Day Luncheon & Fashion Show raising funds for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s. It was so refreshing to experience no ego & unconditional love at this table.  As we shared lunch, love tokens and laughs- it was stated that our “friends are the family we get to choose”. So true.  

My love tank is full!

Wishing you all a beautiful day and may you

all be the recipients of

LOVING KINDNESS

today and everyday.

God Bless,

Tiff

  

MONDAY MOTIVATION: Looking Beyond

Posted on by

Beautiful big blue eyes

HELLO GORGEOUS! 

Happy Monday. I trust you all had a wonderful weekend and many of you will be off of work today to celebrate Veteran’s Day. God Bless all the heroes and sheroes who have so courageously served our country.

Over the past few weeks, the following topic has been on my heart and I wanted to share it here with you. If you are tuned into Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday’s or have your nose in the latest self-development books, you know the topic of Ego is everywhere. Allowing the ego to rule is an epidemic that, we as a society, try to protect ourselves with it. Is is really protection? No, it’s not. The Ego robs you of the beauty, love, grace, joy and connection we all long for. We can view the EGO as Edging God Out. When we edge God out, we are edging LOVE out. I wore so many masks for years and would throw a wall up in a New York minute if my Ego felt threatened. This was misery! Life is lackluster and in black & white, it’s cold and unfulfilling when you allow the Ego to run things.

When we shift from Ego to Love, our world changes. It becomes joy-filled, vibrant, exciting, colorful and whole.

Look beyond…open your eyes. This week see beyond a person’s mask, walls, hard heart and the superficial facade they guard themselves with. Allow your  HEART  to see their HEART.. instead of your Ego greeting their Ego. Beyond everyone’s Ego is a Child of God longing to BE SEEN for who they really are.

  • Do you protect yourself with a mask?
  • Are you afraid to let others SEE you, but you secretly long for them to?
  • Do you judge others for their superficial exterior or can you see their authenticity beyond the “act”?
  • Can you see someone’s heart even though it may be covered with scars, a lock & chain and layers of pain?

I challenge us all to really SEE the purity and greatness in others and in turn, others will be free to see the greatness in us. Lose the term “take it for face value” and look deeper. You will be blessed for it!

Love, Tiff

MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY {Sunday Affirmations}

Posted on by

FIFERS_april2013

Happy Sunday Girlfriend!

I trust you are all having a beautiful weekend.  I’m playing catch up after spending most of the week in Dallas.  It was a wirlwind trip filled with playtime with the most precious toddlers, laughing over wine with dear girlfriends of 20+ years and of course, over-indulging in my fave food– TexMex!  Something that has been resonating with me since my return to LA is how inspired I am by the women in my life.  We seem to look for inspiration everywhere these days (I even base my blog + webseries on it) in the latest motivational book endorsed by Oprah, in movies, art, church or even on Pinterest.  Sometimes all we need to do is look at the lives of our nearest and dearest.  Inspiration is right under our nose and can so easily be overlooked and underappreciated.  There were several beautiful life lessons I learned on this trip, but the thing that made the most impact was how powerful it is when a woman MAKES UP HER MIND to do something.  Hold on to your hats boys… Hurricane Sally is coming through town!   When mama makes up her mind… shizzle gets done!  

Christine_Tiff_Heidi2

I had so many thought-provoking conversations on my trip with women from all walks of life, but there are a few scenarios that inspired me the most.  Remember a few weeks ago, I posted a blog about my friend Christine who recently went through 15-16 rounds of chemo.  Well, just two weeks ago Christine underwent a mastectomy.  On top of that, I was not aware that prior to her finding out about the cancer, she had torn a ligament in her wrist from yoga.  She had what was suppose to be a simple surgery that turned into a nightmare leaving her with a permanent metal rod from her hand halfway up her forearm.  She not only lost a breast in the past year she has lost the use of her hand and may never do yoga again.  When you are in Christine’s presence you sense nothing but gratitude, bravery and strength.  It overwhelmed me!  She doesn’t feel sorry for herself and doesn’t play the ‘woe is me’ sad song.  She put a smile on her face and made up her mind in the beginning of this journey that she would stay positive and get through it…SHE DID JUST THAT!  She even got dressed up complete with a fab wig and attended Heidi’s birthday party only a few weeks after surgery!  CAN WE SAY ROCKSTAR!?!

Another inspiring woman– a family friend, who has fluctuated with her weight for years, recently lost over 60 pounds and I barely recognized her.  Hello Supermodel!!  She not only looked amazing physically, but she was glowing and had a beautiful sparkle in her eye.  We had an intimate chat and she explained how she was looking forward to starting a family and wanted to be as healthy as possible during her pregnancy, plus be a healthy and strong mom for her kids as they grew. WOW!  SO INSPIRING!  She made up her mind and lost the weight.  Once and for all.  I am so sick of hearing myself complain about “that 5-10 lbs”.  Who’s with me?  If she can make up her mind to lose 60 then surely I can make up mind and get rid of that stubborn 5.  I have stepped it up with my workouts recently, but I am about to become hardcore BFF’s with the treadmill and achieve my goal already!

Belmont_dallas_skyline

One more inspiring story I want to share with you was hearing that one of my dearest friends is about to close on a home.  She has fulfilled most of her dreams throughout our friendship and then some, but one of her most important was to own a home.  After searching and searching she finally found the one!  Sometimes our dreams seem so far off in the distance or like they will never come to pass.  If you set your mind, never give up, keep believing, keep praying and keep working towards it– YOU WILL ACHIEVE!   Imagine yourself sitting in that dream kitchen.  Never lose sight. Then one day you will wake up and actually be sipping that first cup of coffee in your new home. 

Jodi_Tiff_Heidi

Are you wishy washy?  Do you battle with wavering, hemming + hawing and doubting yourself?  I admit I can think a thing to death because I can’t seem to make up my mind sometimes.  We play that mind game because we FEAR the outcome of making the wrong choice.  I read something recently to the effect of “we are free to choose, but we are not free of the consequences of our choice”…so like most issues, the root of indecision is that dreaded four lettered F word– FEAR.  Our minds are so powerful when we focus on the outcome we desire and make the decision that NOTHING will stop us from achieving it. 

THIS WEEK I WILL…..

  1. Stop the mind games.
  2. Quit the hemming and hawing.
  3. Connect with inspiring girlfriends + ignore the whiners!
  4. Release the fear.
  5. Choose love, joy and peace.
  6. Fake it till I make it if I have to.
  7. Focus on my dreams.
  8. Keep growing + stepping into my greatness.
  9. SMILE MORE.
  10. Trust in God’s destiny for me.
  11. Believe that I will achieve!

therapy_friends

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Please share, pin or tweet this with your friends.

Remember…your mind is a beautiful + very powerful thing!

Love, Tiff