WHATCHA SAYING TO YOURSELF? 3 Simple Steps To Positive Self Talk


Hello Gorgeous!

That simple but powerful statement is today’s topic. A few days ago, I was sitting staring at this coffee cup and thinking how much I love to say this to my friends and I even open most of my SOS webisodes with it. I started wondering how many women actually say that to themselves.  I would bet it’s probably a terribly low percentile of about 10% and that’s on the high range.Think about it.

Do you ever look in the mirror and tell yourself you are gorgeous?

I admit, on most days I look in the mirror and focus on the sagging skin, circles under my eyes, that varicose vein that’s popping out on my leg and the list goes on. Sad this is how we start the day! That’s why I harp on positive affirmations so much. Our mental chatter goes on alllllllllllll day long! We are literally talking to ourselves all day every day. I’m not just referring to how we talk about our physical appearance either. We are either beating ourselves up for the past, feeling guilty about something we did today or have anxiety about the future. This is enough to keep you in a negative spiral 24/7. Who wants to live in freedom from the prison of your mind? ME! My hand is raised and this is what I try to practice every single day. Our minds are powerful and some days are harder than others. If we allow ourselves to spiral too long, we end up in a dark place that’s tough to get out of. I know! I battled depression for many years while I was hiding my secrets and self medicated with drugs. We all deserve to live in freedom. So, it’s up to us to change how we speak to ourselves. No one can do it for us.

Here are 3 simple steps I have found to stay above the dark zone: 

STEP 1: Acknowledgement. We have to take ownership and acknowledge that we’re thinking and saying negative things to ourselves.

STEP 2: Stop that crap. Don’t allow yourself to wallow and play that negative CD over and over in your head. Acknowledge it then stop the thought.

STEP 3: Replace. Once you stop yourself and that crappy thought you must immediately replace it with a positive one. I’ll give you an example of something I thought this morning. “I’m so lazy and feel chunky because I haven’t worked out in a week”… then replaced it with “Hey, I’m not lazy and have been working out hard all year and deserve a break for a few weeks. I’ll get back on the program next week. Enjoy some vacay time Tiff”. It’s all about seeing the positives instead of always focusing on the negatives. See how I turned a “beat myself up” thought into a positive one along with a praise for how hard I’ve worked out all year. We would say the same thing to our best friend. We extend grace to those we love all the time so why is it so difficult to give it to ourselves?

We can talk ourselves out of anything which will stall our goals and dreams. Positive self talk can change the entire direction of our life! This is why I’m a firm believer in using affirmations as a tool to stay on track. I have positive sayings, verses and quotes hanging all over my house.

If you are new to SOS and have not received my affirmations e-book, go to www.TiffanyHendra.com and join the mailing list. The book will come to your inbox for FREE! It’s a compilation for 101 of my favorite affirmations from my Sunday evening blog posts.

PBO copy 2


I’m excited we are back in the sanctuary taping new videos!!! WooHoo!

Any topic you want to see? Comment and let me know. 

Love, Tiff




If you have subscribed to SOS, more than likely you are serious about your personal growth and development, spiritual healing, image and purpose in life. Often, I refer to the cocoon and the butterfly as a symbol of beauty, growth and transformation. The butterfly has intrigued me since I was little and it’s meaning became even more powerful to me as I began my journey of transformation. We are all striving to gain our wings.

Wherever you are in your journey today, remember that some people will not accept, appreciate or support your growth. This is unfortunate, but it’s the truth. Do not -under any circumstances – allow their insecurity to keep you from moving forward. Putting in the work takes guts, grit, courage, lady balls, focus and ALL of your will power. Throughout my journey, I’ve experienced a resistance to my growth by others. I’ve been made fun of for being “too airy fairy” or too motivational, cheerleadery and positive. At first, this would cause me to pull back and dummy myself down. No one likes to be made fun of so we go against our authenticity by trying to fit in. This has never worked for me! I had a deep longing to become the best I could be and to overcome the issues in my life. We make ourselves miserable trying to make others feel more comfortable. How stupid is that?!? 


Ultimately, we dull our shine or clip our wings by allowing others opinions to overrule our own thinking. We need to take responsibility for what we allow. Personal growth and becoming who God created us to be takes work and major cooperation with Him. The work can be very painful at times, but what you gain on the other side is beyond worth it.


People only want you to stay broken and in the same place because they aren’t doing their work to move forward. It’s time to limit your time with these types of people and your true friends will celebrate your growth. They will help you claim your wings and even be the wind beneath your wings. I’m so grateful for those friendships. I look at how much my life has changed (for the WAY better) so if being too cheerleadery or positive is weird, then I’m happy to be a total weirdo and I adore those who choose to be weirdos with me.

Have you experienced this? Do you “dummy down” to please others?

Go enjoy the clouds today!


Love, Tiff