DADDY’S GIRLS

Daddy_TiffNat_June2014[My sis Natalie, Dad, Mom & I on vacay in West Tx on the Frio River]

Daddy’s Girls.

But, it wasn’t always that way. I have mentioned on the blog that my relationship with my dad hasn’t always been healthy. My sister has also had her own journey with finding common ground and forgiveness in her relationship with him. Our dad became a father at the young age of 22. I can’t imagine having two daughters by the time I was 26! His generation did what they were taught and did the best they could. My dad was a great provider and a stern disciplinarian, but he was emotionally unavailable. Honestly, the poor guy was outnumbered and had to deal with three females in the house so if I put myself in his shoes – he really got the short end of the stick. I would have probably stayed out in the garage most of the time too! HaHa! 

This past week proves that people CAN change, evolve, grow and accept one another. We just took our first family vacay since I was in high school and stayed in a small cabin without wifi, cell reception or TV. Talk about connecting on a real and deep level. I highly recommend it! Add in my hubby and a total of 5 dogs and see how well you all get along. I am happy to report it was one of the best and most blessed times we’ve ever spent. What made our vacation even more special was that it fell over Father’s Day. 

My sis and I are both strong-willed, opinionated women (which we got from our parents) so when we are all together it can cause some head-butting. This vacay was the first time we each let go of ego and resonated in a pure place of love and open hearts. WooHoo!  We had several deep & meaningful conversations on topics ranging from marriage, war, Jesus and finances. My sis and I are both cerebral as well as spiritual so we aren’t much for ‘small talk’ and thrive on thought provoking discussions. Can you believe in the midst of those controversial topics – there was NO head-butting?  We respected one another’s opinions with total acceptance. What a beautiful thing! Better late than never, right? 

Family can be the most challenging and testing of all our relationships and mine has had it’s share of blaming, misunderstanding and some verbal abuse. I used to be first in line to blame all my issues on my parents especially my ‘daddy issues’. You give your parents so much freedom within the forgiveness when you release them from that burden. When I took responsibility for my issues and began appreciating my parents for ALL the things they did right – everything shifted in our relationship. 

Is there a family member or relationship you need to set free from the blame game? Do you struggle with forgiveness?

Webster’s definition of forgiveness: to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) ; to stop blaming (someone) ; to cease to feel resentment against (an offender).

Forgiveness is really a gift you give yourself. 

photo-248

Turn off your mind.
Be silly. 
Eat nacho cheese Doritos. 
Listen to the trees rustle.
Dissect & discuss your favorite books. 
No makeup. No fixing the hair. 
Watch the rabbits & squirrels play.
Be present.

I did all these things on vacation with my sister and feel renewed.

Seek out moments like this all Summer Sistas!  

Love, Tiff

Advertisements

A DAUGHTER REMEMBERS

On Father’s Day today, memories of my Daddy flood my mind.  He was a cool cat who drove a Corvette and sported 501’s, wire rimmed shades, funky belts and leather jackets…hmmm, my sister and I not only picked up style tips from our Mom, but it seems like our Dad had just as much to do with our eclectic personal styles.  I’m pretty sure my sister actually rocks some of Daddy’s old T-shirts and belts to this day!  Remember, he is half Japanese so his “Americana” fashion sense made him even more special.  Picture James Dean, but with jet black hair,  almond eyes and a strong Southern drawl.

Mama_Daddy_Prom{Parents at Prom}

 

Glen D. Bolton was born in Japan on April 4, 1949.  His Dad, Aubrey Dale Bolton, was an American Soldier in WWII and my beautiful Memaw, Hannah Hanazawa, became his war bride. They all moved to the states, to Texas, when my Dad was about 5.  Papaw was a car and motorcycle lover who played guitar in a country band.  He passed those passions down to his son.  My Dad would probably have been considered a “hipster” today.  I remember he was either outside tinkering on his motorcycles or he was in the game room  jammin’ to the Beach Boys, Elvis or the BeeGee’s with these massive white headphones on, no shirt and cut offs.  He loves music, he loves cars + motorcycles and still collects cool T-shirts.  It brings a smile to my face when I think how creative and passionate he was and still is.  He is a very talented artist and painter as well.  I’m grateful he passed his passionate spirit and creativity on to my sister and me. 

Memaw_Papa{Grandparents Wedding}

 

There were a lot of hard times with my Dad, but for the rest of my life– I choose to remember the wonderful times.  As I work with orphans now who have never even seen their Father’s face and never will, I am deeply grateful I had a Dad who was very present in my life. He was a super stern disciplinarian and I was often afraid of him, but at the end of the day, he was and is a great Father. He had a stellar work ethic and I never saw a drink in his hand. Daddy never hesitated to do fun things with us like sliding down the steepest slides at WaterWorld or taking us for Sunday drives in one of his cool cars. At Christmas, when I was 8– he stayed up all night on Christmas Eve to put together a massive new swingset complete with monkey bars and a slide.  As we were opening gifts that morning, he casually opened the drapes overlooking the backyard.  Talk about two little girls squealing at the top of their lungs!  

 

Daddy, thank you for the memories. I love you.

daddy_nat_myfoot{I’m on Daddy’s shoulders, my sis by the fence w/ our 1st fam dog- Scooter}

 

Daddy_toys{Boys and their Toys}

 

Daddy

Happy Friday Fabulous Fashionistas!

Do you still call your dad “Daddy” even as a grown woman?  I do.  It’s a term of endearment that I will never outgrow.  I can’t say that it was always an endearing term for me and I am sure there are many of you that understand where I’m coming from.  With Father’s Day approaching and searching for that perfect card, I always find myself frustrated and a bit sad in the middle of the card aisle at the local drugstore. WHO FEELS ME?  Many cards have such eloquent sentiments describing the Dream Dad.  Does he exist?  If you grew up with a wonderful dad, high five! You were very fortunate. My dad was a great provider and kept a comfortable roof over our heads, food on the table and clothes on our backs– I remember the Christmas he spoiled me rotten with my first pair of Jordache Jeans and a hot pink Huffy tenspeed.  He was fantastic at that sort of stuff, BUT…. he had a tough, angry spirit like his own father and was emotionally unavailable.  His words cut deep and those words will mold a young girl in the wrong way.  They’re like bad seeds that take root and create weeds in a fertile young mind.  Like many of our dads, he became a father too young (age 21) and did the best that he knew how!  Now that I’m grown, I clearly see this fact and have forgiven him.  I had to do the grueling inner work to overcome, remove the weeds and learn true forgiveness.  A large part of that process was allowing God’s love into my life.  Realizing how much God– my Heavenly Father– loved me… started the serious healing from any wounds or weeds inflicted by my biological father.  We have a much better relationship and I have a new found respect for him. I know God has worked on him too and he has a much gentler and sweet spirit now!

Happy Daddy’s Day to Glen Bolton

{{If you have been following my blog for some time, you realize that I am a Spiritual person and open about my Faith in God, but I will never shove my concepts and beliefs down anyone’s throat.  A large part of SOS is about TRANSFORMATION and I would not be authentic if I did not share how the biggest reason and path to my own transformation was through God’s love and healing in my life.}}

So I leave you with this…if Father’s Day is also a sensitive time for you I want to remind you that no matter what your bio father did or did not do, your Heavenly Father sees you as perfect and beautiful. YOU are the apple of His eye!  He wants the best for you, to see you living your dreams, shining like the star that you are, successful, prosperous and plain ol’ HAPPY!  Also, if your Daddy has passed away and this holiday is difficult for you in that regard, I send you loving thoughts and may the fond memories you shared with your Father bring you peace and joy this weekend.

 

With love,

Tiff

 

P.S. Remember all summer long we have some fantastic sponsors for our summer giveaways!  Make sure to check-in on the SOS FACEBOOK PAGE and join in on the conversations. Random commenters will be chosen each week to win a prize. The only requirement is that you are both a blog subbie and a FB page follower.