What’s Your Vibe?

and so do you.

What are you up to this weekend?

Whatever you do, wherever you go– pay attention to the vibe/energy you allow into your space and decide if it’s right for you. Do you allow other people to suck the life-blood right out of you then moan and groan, whine and complain about how negative they are instead of simply walking away? I get it. I would continually put my hand in the fire over and over like an insane person then wonder why I got burned. It started in childhood. It was confusing because I was both an extroverted lover of people, enjoyed team sports and group activities, but also cherished playing in my room by myself drawing for hours in peace and quiet.

It took years of growth, maturity, gaining respect for myself to set boundaries and learn what it meant to be a hyper-sensitive, feely, empathetic extroverted-introvert. 

But, let’s keep it to energy and save the extroverted-introvert convo for another day. As an empath and sponge to other people’s energy, I had to learn how to consciously choose to either feel or deflect someone’s vibe. Definitely one of the many lessons I learned in LA when you’re dealing with a zillion people everywhere on auditions, walking the streets, traffic, etc. The peaceful hiking trails were even stressful at times because they were crowded with people traffic. For real.

Many allow it to debilitate them, cause major anxiety and even agoraphobia. How about you? Do you need a glass of wine or a Xanax to get out of the house to that huge event? I get that, too. We can take control of this. We can choose to take on someone’s energy or walk away. For years, I was not cognizant of how this effected me physically. Literally, if I allow a negative persons energy to invade my space or spirit– I will get nauseous, maybe a headache, and feel very tired. Pay attention to those who “drain” you!

Raise your awareness of how you feel in your spirit and your physical body when you encounter a toxic person.

Limit your time with them even when it’s a close friend or family member. It can be both a blessing and a burden to be an empath so I’m sharing a few ways to protect yourself: 

WAYS TO PROTECT YOURSELF: 

  • Distance yourself and set boundaries. Negative Nellies love to wallow and set up camp in their misery. Misery loves company so basically tell them to go find some other miserable people to talk to because you are not one of them. Yes, it’s tough love and there is a grace period for listening and wanting to be constructive to our loved ones without getting sucked into their pity party.  Use your #Ladyballs and speak up. I’ve actually told a friend, “you have only 15 minutes and then I’m finished with this topic that you’ve been rehashing for like, eternity already”.. then suggest a lighter fun topic. YOU DECIDE YOUR VIBE.
  • Set aside daily time for self-care. Taking the time to mediate, pray, workout, take a walk, take a bubble bath and fill yourself up with positivity will give you a level of tolerance for the energy vampires, but it also gives you more love and respect for yourself, your time and your space. YOU DECIDE YOUR VIBE.
  • Let go. For years, I tried to take responsibility for other peoples happiness.  Talk about nearly killing myself.  Free yourself from trying to change a negative person. We can’t change people and we are ultimately the insane one if we try to. Period. YOU DECIDE YOUR VIBE.
  • Pray for protection. I’m not perfect and sometimes forget, but I try to make it daily habit to ask God to protect me and cover me with His full armor. (for more go to Ephesians 6:10-18) Especially if I’m going into a place with tons of people. Seriously, we can be assaulted at any moment by a Negative Nellie leaving us needing to run home for a spiritual bath, head spinning and glazed over. Sometimes it’s as simple as walking into an event and whispering the tiny, but powerful prayer “Lord, help me.”  YOU DECIDE YOUR VIBE…and YOUR vibe decides your tribe, too.

 

Are you an empath and found a great way to protect yourself and live life to the full? 

Please share. 

STRESS: You are in control.. don’t let it control you! {Sunday Affirmations}

walking on a tight rope

Happy Sunday!

As much as you may pray, meditate and seek methods to reduce your stress and stay balanced– life always has a way of knocking you on your toosh or making you feel like you’re teetering on a tightrope. Who feels me?   Last week I got so sick of hearing myself whining and saying, “I’m so stressed…I’m so exhausted.”  It was one of those moments when I had to pull myself over to the mirror and say to myself, “Tiff, get a grip.  You control your schedule.  You control how you ALLOW situations to effect you.  You can control your attitude about it all.  You have the power when you check all the texts and emails!”  I told a friend I needed to go read my own blogs. Hmmmph.  Isn’t it funny how we can easily give others advice?  I also feel like I should add that stress-levels for us gals is always heightened during PMS.  I’m not using it as an excuse….it’s just a biological fact.  Ok, now that we are clear on all that….

There are so many factors that cause stress and it is different for everyone.  Where you live, work pressures, financial difficulties, relationship pains, kids, world events and the list goes on and on.  Living in LA, a city where I’m shocked anyone passed their driving tests and were allowed a license, is enough to give you an ulcer every time you get in your car!  I was running a few errands the other day and this woman– who was in the wrong turning lane– had the audacity to flip me off while I was patiently allowing her to turn… even though she was in the wrong.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  My shoulders tensed and I gave her the evil eye and then decided to say a little prayer for her under my breath AFTER I visualized myself giving her back the same unladylike hand gesture she had given me.  I kept my hands on the steering wheel, of course.  Just normal daily interaction with people can stress you out.  People seem to enjoy transferring their stress to you, but we can control what we allow to stick to us.  Yes, easier said than done I know!  This is why I try to remember to pray for protection and to be covered with the full armor of God plus be enveloped in white light every time I walk out the door.  I don’t always remember and should put a note/affirmation by the door.  (Ok, I’ll go do that as soon as I’m finished writing this blog!)  I recommend you doing it too.

My point to this rant is YOU HAVE THE CONTROL.  I realize we all feel powerless at times, but “feeling” powerless is even something we can control.  Dig deeper.  You always have the power.  You always have the control.  Take charge.  Maybe you think you’ve lost the power and control, but you can regain it.  Make the choice.  You may never seem to achieve balance, but it’s about the constant effort to make the right choices for YOUR life and stop trying to keep up with your friends, neighbors and co-workers.  Make the choice to step down off the tightrope.  Everyone- especially women- loves to validate themselves with how “busy’ they are.  Honestly- I’m beginning to hate that word and I’m trying to remove it from my vocab.  Yes– life is busy and stressful, but life is also meant to be a beautiful experience.

THIS WEEK I WILL….

  1. Check in with myself.
  2. Be a warrior not a worrier.
  3. Put my phone on silent when I need to. Some peeps can wait!
  4. Stop + smell the roses.
  5. Not allow other people’s stress to stick to me.
  6. Regain control.
  7. Keep my plate manageable.
  8. Get more sleep.
  9. Be more assertive by saying no.
  10. Stop taking on too many projects.
  11. BREATHE!

life_10%_90%

Cheers to a week free of any rude encounters, evil eyes, perverted hand gestures, boundary breakers, one uppers or back talkers. HA!

YOU ARE IN CONTROL.

FIND YOUR ZEN.

Love, Tiff