GOT ANXIETY? DO THIS.

 

Hey Love,

Because of the recent disaster in my hometown of Houston, I’ve been receiving messages on my social media daily asking how I deal with anxiety. I also get messages regularly asking how to get started with praying so I thought I would repost the video below from this spring. I admit I was filled with a rush of panic the day of the gas shortage in Dallas last week. The long lines at the gas stations, horrible traffic, people were frantic, my phone was blowing up and as an empath I feel the collective energy around me. Thank God a girlfriend gave me a heads up the night before about the gas sitch and I was able to get to the gas station early that morning, but still sat in quite a line. Instead of staying glued to the news, I tried to stay off social media last weekend and plug in to God even deeper.

Prayer is powerful and if you feel the nudge to begin praying, I would say now is a great time to start. It’s never to late! One thing I didn’t mention in the video is that prayer does not have to be complicated. When I start an entry in my prayer journal, I treat it like a letter to God with “Dear Heavenly Father,…”.  Just talk to God as you would a dear friend or the ultimate daddy. Before I give Him my laundry list of needs/wants, I thank Him for all my blessings and answers to prayer no matter how small. You don’t have to be overly eloquent or religious. Just think of it as your most importance chat of the day.

Praying is one of the best things you can do to nix anxiety. When I start giving God a list of gratitude, I immediately feel the anxiety drain from my body and peace rush over me. I do this all throughout the day!! Sometimes I wonder if God laughs because I’m constantly chatting with Him throughout the day. He’s probably thinking, “Girl, you are one Chatty Cathy!” hahaha! If your anxiety is heightened like so many people around the world, I encourage you to begin praying and if you already pray a little bit– AMP IT UP.

 

 

Praying for the victims of Hurricane Harvey and the devastation Irma is already leaving. Praying for Florida as her arrival approaches there. Praying for all the families who lost loved ones in the earthquake in Mexico.

Praying for the world.

I know it’s easy to get pissed at God when events like this happen, but I encourage you DO NOT allow your mind and spirit to entertain those thoughts.

Instead, lean in and rely on Him.

 

 

 

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KNIGHTS DO EXIST

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Happy Birthday to my knight! Some say there’s no such thing as a knight in shining armor — I beg to differ! I never really thought I would get married. I was too messed up, but God sent you @aaronhendra to protect me and help me fight my battles. Exactly what a knight does! Thank you for showing up for US every single day. May God continue to direct your steps, shower you with favor and open doors of opportunity that no man can shut. You are chosen. You are destined. I love you 

[Photos clockwise: Our wedding day at the end of the Santa Monica pier, Aaron installing an LED light panel in the orphanage in S. Sudan, our first scene on RHOD and Aaron on set of his music video for “Alive”]

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Hey Love Seekers!

The above Instagram post is to honor my husband on his birthday today. As I thought about him and our life together over the past 13 years, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. Gratitude to him for seeing past my brokenness to a girl who deserved to be loved.  See, when I met Aaron I had just embarked on a spiritual journey of healing from my past.

I was an emotional roller coaster.

I felt unlovable.

I was a hot mess.

I felt shame. 

Unworthy…was the label stamped across my heart! (so I thought)

But, in the few months prior to running into Aaron on Beverly Drive on the beautiful fall day in LA I had begun praying for him even though I didn’t know “he” was the one. For many years, I didn’t believe I was worthy of love much less an amazing husband. I had already hit 30 and started facing the fact that maybe marriage wasn’t for me. Growing up a Southern girl, of course- I thought I would be married with 2 kids by the time I was 25. Hello, that’s what most good Southern girls life plan was in my generation, right? Here I was 30 with no prospects and in a city like LA where it felt like finding a good man was like finding a pair of Louboutin’s 75% off at Marshalls. Impossible!  I came close to giving up on love.

BUT GOD.

In 2002, when I hit rock bottom on that bathroom floor in West Hollywood (hear more on Access Hollywood) God heard my simple pray of “help”.  Often we think we need these long poetic wordy prayers, but the simple prayers like “thank you” and “help” are just as powerful. The beautiful thing about hitting bottom is there’s no where else to go but up! This was the beginning of my relationship with God then my relationship with myself then ultimately my relationship with my husband. I had to embark on a love affair with God and myself before I could meet Aaron and allow him to love me. Period. Most of my 20’s, I had turned my back on God and basically shot Him the middle finger. But He was always there. I really should be dead in a ditch somewhere. I should have died on that bathroom floor or in some random person’s bathroom in the Hollywood Hills. But I didn’t.  I began journaling my crazy thoughts and praying for God to bring me a strong man. I filled up several spiral notebooks describing that strong man.  I began praying for him everyday in that prayer journal. With each passing day, my hope grew. Then a year later- BAM- I ran into Aaron on that street and we were married 4 months later.

Trust me, I made the first 2-3 years of our marriage a nightmare! When the fear and old shame-based Tiff would creep up, I would push Aaron away and resist his love. He never gave up on me. He stayed consistent. Aaron saw me as a beautiful, whole, strong, intelligent woman. Not as the weak, broken, messy girl I saw myself as. God knew I needed him to hold my hand as I continued on this healing journey.  God knew Aaron needed me as well.

I felt compelled to share that beautiful glimpse of our story to encourage any of you who are seeking true, real, lasting love. Knights really do exist! Don’t give up hope. Allow the love of God to transform your life first. If you’re like I was and feel unworthy, remember God sees you as His gorgeous daughter. You are the apple of His eye. When you grasp that truth down in your spirit– it begins to heal your broken heart. It renews you. It takes away all the shameful labels you or others have placed on you. Put on God’s label and wear it proudly like the most stunning custom-made dress.

 

You are lovable.

You are worthy.

You are strong, beautiful and filled with purpose.

Allow Him to lead you to your partner. His connections are Divine.  

 

Join  me in honoring Aaron today and if you are blessed with an amazing partner- tell them how grateful you are to be able to do life with them! It’s truly a gift.

 

sign_xo

 

Do You Have A Spirit Spot?

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Do you have a “spirit spot” or what I also like to call a “place of peace”

This morning as I was meditating, praying and writing in my journal, I became overwhelmed with gratitude for my “spirit spot”. I knew I had to share this with you on this beautiful Sunday. Seemed appropriate. When I started on my spiritual journey about 12-13 years ago, I found that early morning was the perfect time for me to pray, read and seek God. I am naturally an early bird so it was easy. As I began to see how this practice was transforming and strengthening me, I became addicted to my special morning time. On the mornings I was rushed and skipped it, I would be cranky, short tempered and anxiety-ridden the rest of the day. Now, I do not give up my morning ritual for anything or anyone! With all the people and responsibilities we have, it’s vital to start the day in peace (not frantic with anxiety) and equipped to handle it all.

 My “spirit spot” ended up being the couch in the living room complete with a comfy blanket, coffee, candle, Bible, books, journal, highlighter and my furry daughter, Zoe. Now, I realize that this spot works for me because I don’t have kids. A “spirit spot” can be any place YOU can get quiet, connect and feed your spirit. This could be a specific room in the house, on the patio overlooking the pool, a park bench or even in the shower or on the yoga mat.

One of the first things I discuss with my lifestyle mentoring/coaching clients is how they start their day. A common theme I have found among women who need my help, are disconnected from their spirit and constantly exhausted is that they jump out of bed to screaming kids or they hit the snooze button a million times.

If this is you- do you feel a rumbling of anxiety in your gut for the rest of the day? 

Then, I highly recommend getting up a bit earlier than your family. Even just 15 minutes earlier will transform how the rest of your day goes. I PROMISE! Is there a spot in your home where you feel calm? A spot where the minute you sit down you exhale and feel the stress drain off. This could be the perfect place of peace for you. If not, create one. Place things around you and in your view that create a sense of joy, peace and comfort in you. My spot in the living room has things that stimulate my senses in a positive way….

  • Furry blanket that is comforting, safe and cozy. (I skip this during the heat of Summer, of course!)
  • My baby girl Zoe, loves to lay in my lap which creates love and connection.
  • An aromatic candle which creates a calm zen atmosphere.
  • Fresh flowers- usually an orchid- which represents love, luxury, beauty and strength.  
  • Photos of my family and dearest friends which always reminds me to pray for them & send them positive thoughts. 

 

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Remember, it’s just as important what we feed our physical body as what we’re feeding our spirit. When you feed your body junk- ice cream, cookies, fried foods, preservatives- you become overweight, sluggish and become a breeding ground for diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure and more. You become what you eat. 

What you feed your spirit- YOU BECOME. Do you feed your spirit junk like too many violent/sexually immoral shows & movies, trash mags, too much voyeuristic time on social media and surrounding yourself with gossipers/backstabbers/criticizers?  Trust me– I am not perfect at this and indulge in some ridiculous, mind-sucking reality shows from time to time — but, I am cautious of how much time I spend on things like that. It’s important to be so in tune with your spirit, that you notice when these things are altering your character, behavior and your manner of speaking becomes negative.

Again, this is why it is crucial you begin the day filled up on positivity and peace. As the day goes on, we are bombarded with negative images, tragic news and perhaps a gossipy friend. If you begin the day depleted, whoa- no wonder so many women battle anxiety. I did for a long time!  Sistas, it’s no way to live. 

Please share your TWO CENTS on this subject and make a comment!

Share, tweet, like this post if you found it inspiring.

Love, Tiff xo

 

Celebrate Every Tiny Success {SUNDAY AFFIRMATIONS}

HAPPY SUNDAY SISTAS!

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Today is the halfway mark of Dec. Can you believe it? We have 2 more weeks of 2013 and yesterday, I found myself heading down that slippery slope of negative thinking about a few goals I didn’t quite complete this year. When my mind begins heading in the gutter like this- I know it is a signal to check in with myself, get quiet, plug into my Spiritual practice and get refocused on God’s Plan for my life. It’s also productive to read back over your journal to see how far you’ve come.  Instead of dwelling on the marks I missed, I began celebrating the marks I hit and hit right in the bullseye! Woop! But, our mind plays tricks on us and we so easily dwell on our shortcomings. If you have been beating yourself up about not fulfilling certain 2013 goals- STOP TODAY!

Start focusing on your triumphs and it will reignite your confidence!

Perhaps you didn’t lose the last 10 pounds of your 30 pound weightloss goal, BUT you paid off that credit card finally. Woop Woop!  Celebrate your financial freedom and simply set the 10 pound weightloss goal. Evaluate WHY you didn’t lose those 10 pounds and make adjustments. Did you start slacking with your workout program? Maybe you stopped drinking enough water and started reaching for the sodas again? It is a new day and soon it will be a New Year! Reset the goals you missed and let go of the guilt or shame associated with it! 

This week I will….

  1. Tune out the holiday distractions + get quiet.
  2. Replay the goals I hit in 2013.
  3. Reset -with enthusiasm- any goals I missed.
  4. Stop beating myself up + show myself some love.
  5. Refuse to allow my mind to slide into the gutter.
  6. Celebrate every success no matter how small.
  7. Give myself a clean slate.
  8. Pray for God’s Will + Purpose to be revealed in my life.
  9. Let go of the guilt + shame.
  10. Make adjustments that are realistic + doable.
  11. Hold my head up high + MAKE MYSELF PROUD!

What 3 affirmations really resonated with you?

Always love hearing your thoughts.

Please like, + share this post with your friends if you think they need the inspiration!

Have a Fabulous Final Few Weeks of 2013.

Love, Tiff

YOU are a gift bearer! [July Intentions]

Happy Sunday Style + Spirit Sistas!

Today, I want to share a beautiful passage from Robert Holden’s book Shift Happens! with the hope that it will inspire you as deeply as it did me. I highly recommend this as one of your summer ‘must reads’.

shift happens 

You are a gift-bearer. You are the “light of the world,” and so is the person next to you. Do not forget your purpose. Do not be distracted with “getting” and “having” and “to-ing” and “fro-ing.” Do not give in to fear, and do not let old wounds blow you off course. Your healing is a gift. Your happiness is a gift. Your loving touch is a gift. Give yourself, heart and soul, and find out who you really are.

You are gift wrapped.

Unwrap yourself now.

Let your gifts spill to the floor

and all over the world.

Watch how your kindness

transforms this cruel world.

See how your love heals fear.

Notice how your courage

inspires us all.

Let your smile release

this sad old world.

Give everyone you meet

the star in your eye.

SHINE YOUR LIGHT.

OPEN YOUR HEART.

Notice how your peace of 

mind makes any war more

meaningless and harder

to fight.

Your happiness is a gift.

It attracts angels from afar.

Your smile is like champagne.

Your laughter is like love.

Your healing ispires us.

Your presence is a miracle.

UNWRAP YOURSELF NOW.

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On this final day of June, I wrote a list of all the wonderful and miraculous things God blessed me with this month– in a brand spankin’ new journal. I felt like a giddy little kid thinking of all the cool things that have happened in June. Can I just tell you how powerful it is when you begin setting positive intentions for each month?  Have you started this practice yet?  Many of us perform this ritual at the first of January, but when we set intentions for every single month– beauty and peace begins to surround us on a daily basis and not just for Jan + Feb. Joy seems to take over and diminishes the fear.  IT’S AWESOME! I feel like jumping up and doing that cheer “A-W-E…S-O-M-E. Awesome, Awesome TO-TOTALLY!” Yes, I know…I”m goofy like that, but I’m just driving home how effective it is.  I double-dog-dare-ya to try it for July.

Another book I highly recommend is The Power of Intention by Dr. Wayne Dyer.  I read this about 12 years ago and it’s a game changer.  BUT, most importantly– when you invite God into your plans and align them with His plan for your life… WHOA BABY, hold on for a adventurous ride because God’s plans or intentions for us are even bigger than we have for ourselves.  

Are you not quite sure what an INTENTION is?  It is a course of action that one “intends” to follow. It is an aim that guides action; an objective.  I love the term “AIM” because it gives you the sense of that laser beam focus needed for hitting the bullseye.

  • Do you need to set boundaries in a toxic relationship?
  • Are you slipping and getting lazy with your health + fitness goals?
  • Have you been sacrificing your “ME” time and not feeding your spirit?

We all have certain areas in our lives that get out of balance really easily.  By setting intentions and visualizing how you want July to play out will set you up for success. Let’s join together and set the community intention of UNWRAPPING + UNLEASHING OUR GIFTS to the world!

intention

I would love to hear one of your intentions for next month. Please share + make a comment!

JULY IS GOING TO ROCK!

Love, Tiff

 

__________, I love you. (fill in the blank with your name)

HELLO GORGEOUS!

loveyourself-beach

Is everyone having a great week so far?  The weather has been gorgeous here in LA with temps between 75-80. (Sorry East Coast Sistas)  I am a summer girl and battle a bit in the winter with staying positive and upbeat so the sunshine and Vitamin D have been a nice boost this week.  Do you get a touch of the winter blues?  I have grown to expect the lull in my energy when Fall rolls around so I kick it into high gear with my prayer time, reading spiritually nourishing books and simply cutting myself some slack.  I know you girls up North are giggling at me because our temps rarely fall below 50 here in Cali, but when you grow up in a hot, humid climate like Houston– I guess geography and atmosphere truly effects your personality for the rest of your life. (Yes, I just made that up! Ha Ha!)  I thrive when it’s hot and wilt when it’s cold.   I know lots of people who will go to the tanning bed in winter just to get the ‘sunshine’.  Ok, my post today wasn’t suppose to be chatting about the weather…..

I want to know if you are checking in with yourself on a regular basis.  Much like you ‘check in’ with your Mom, or a personal trainer, co-worker, client, etc……how often do you check in with yourself?  I guess that’s why I brought up winter being a challenge for me because I find myself being more in-tune with what’s going on inside my head, heart, and spirit at this time of year.  I’m a very sensitive person, but seem to be even more hyper-sensitive in the winter.  Although I prefer the summer, this winter I’ve embraced being forced to stay indoors (we had lots of rain) cuddled up with my journal and being more introspective.  Whew, talk about checking in with yourself and feeling the growing pains.  It’s such a beautiful thing when we spend quality time alone with our thoughts and feelings.  So, when was the last time you truly checked in and asked yourself… how you are doing and really examined your feelings? Women are so crazy busy asking how others are doing and they’re taking care of everyone else’s needs that they never really take the time for themselves. 

Please love yourself enough to do regular check in’s with YOU!  If we gloss over issues and make up excuses for not taking the time for ourselves we stunt our growth.  Some people simply don’t want to feel the pain of growing and can’t sit still with themselves long enough to face their issues.  I’m sorry, but bring on a little pain in order for me to keep getting better, stronger and healthier.  One of my fave Spiritual teachers, Joyce Meyer always says, “I’m not where I want to be, but thank God I’m not where I use to be”.  I didn’t always love myself in fact, it’s been a long journey for me.  On the outside, I appeared to have an exciting life and a great career, but the reality was I didn’t know even know who I was much less truly love myself.  I was too busy trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be.   I’m still on the  journey and yes, I slip up sometimes and beat myself up, but it’s few and far between now.  The minute we all know and believe that we are a precious child of God we change our perception of ourselves.  I hope you realize that truth today!

  •     Love yourself enough to take “me” time.
  •     Love yourself enough to set boundaries and let go of toxic relationships.
  •     Love yourself enough to eat nutrient rich organic foods instead of junk.
  •     Love yourself enough to rock a great outfit instead of “schlepping” around.
  •     Love yourself enough to treat yourself like a queen instead of a pauper.
  •     Love yourself whether they are a size 4 or a 24.
  •     Love yourself enough to speak up and say “no”… and on and on!  I could go on for days.  You get the point!

Enjoy the rest of your week and as always, I am interested to hear your thoughts on this topic.

Share, Like and Tweet this post if you found it inspiring!  You Rock!

I will have a few new beauty + style videos posted soon. Stay Tuned!

Love, Tiff

growth ahead

HONOR YOURSELF {Sunday Affirmations}

Hello Beautiful Butterflies,

Honor_yourself

HONOR: to regard or treat with esteem or RESPECT.

On my powerwalk this morning, I asked God to give me some inspiration for today’s blog post.   He answered.  Creative and inspired thoughts come to me on my walks and today was extra special because it had to do with my taking time to honor my body with a long walk.   It’s been raining for the last few days here in LA so I’ve missed my hikes and walks.  The rain stopped long enough for me to throw on my tennis shoes and go on a 45 minute walk around the neighborhood.  It felt wonderful– mentally + physically– to honor my body and spirit.  I gave to me.  I was generous to me.  I showed respect to me.  I showed love to me.   Are you honoring YOU?  Are you loving YOU?  Are you generous to YOU?  Women are so giving + generous to everyone around them and often neglect themselves!   If this is you, please understand that you are DISHONORING yourself.  For example, you are dishonoring your body if you skip meals, grab junk on the go and never make time to exercise.  You are dishonoring yourself by allowing others to manipulate you with toxic behavior.  You are dishonoring yourself by ignoring your dreams, plans and desires.   In the week ahead, let’s focus on honoring ourselves on every level– mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, in our relationships, in our jobs, etc.  

THIS WEEK I WILL….

  1. Move my body even if it’s just taking a few minutes to stretch daily.
  2. Realize I am deserving of first class treatment especially from myself.
  3. Buy myself a bouquet of my favorite flowers.
  4. Vocalize that my needs are important.
  5. Release any dishonoring beliefs I have about myself.
  6. Feed my body with plenty of fresh organic fruits + veggies.
  7. Take a good look at myself in the mirror and say, I adore you!
  8. Meditate on those dreams + personal plans  I’ve been ignoring.
  9. Set a hard boundary with that person who’s been manipulating + draining me.
  10. Get “gussied up” and take myself on a playdate.
  11. Write a personal mission statement for my life.

Many of us have written mission statements for our businesses, but how about one for you life?  This week,  grab your journal and write a short + sweet mission statement for YOU.  It could go something like this:

I am a wonderful, talented and beautiful person.  I have many gifts to share with the world.  The world needs my light and I will awaken daily with the intention of shining it.  I will make honoring myself a priority so that I have the time, energy and emotional capacity to share my gifts and light.  I have healthy boundaries and surround myself with healthy people.   I will live with an open heart which gives and receives love freely.  I deserve a happy, healthy and successful life.  I rock!

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A big congrats to our sista Shanel Wilson for winning the first stocking stuffer giveaway last week.  We have another fabulous stocking packed with goodies so make sure to check in on the FACEBOOK PAGE during the week!  Winner will be announced on Friday.

Please share the SOS affirmations + inspiration with your friends!

Like, tweet, and comment-  I love hearing your thoughts!

Thanks for reading!

Love,

Tiff