Gossip VS. The Golden Rule

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Here’s your kick-in-the-bootie Monday Motivation!

After being on the hot mess express called RHOD for the past year and a half, the above quote really resonated with my soul. (Thanks for posting last week Jessica Youngblood!) One of the job requirements of this show is to do the exact opposite of this quote. You are hired to tear other women down, throw them under the bus and gossip about them with a capital G. This is the driving force of this train! For the girls girl and champion for women that I am– this was a real challenge because I prefer to ride on the Peace Train. Chooga Chooga Woot Woot! 

[Disclaimer: I am so grateful for this opportunity with a huge network like Bravo because it forced me to get out of my comfort zone and every time we do that… we grow! I view the hard things, the struggles we go through (instead of shrinking back) as the real blessings in life. We weren’t named Real Housewives until after we finished filming so it wasn’t what I originally signed up for. I get it– people say it’s just entertainment,Also, I’m grateful for the exposure it gave my man. He will have performed about 100 gigs in 2016. His goal was 50 so he doubled that! YAY! ]

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Ok, back to the topic!  How often are you sitting at dinner on girls night out and someone starts bad mouthing one of your mutual friends.. who is not present to defend herself?  Over the past few years, I realize women gossip and tear other women down as a way to bond. Many of them do it under the disguise of “we need to pray for Sally because.. did you hear?” BAM, they drop something that should have been kept in confidence! This has to be the cruelest, most insecure and ugly way to bond with someone. There are a zillion things for women to bond over other than trash talking others. Using prayer as a way to sugar coat what they’re really doing is just UGH-Ugly.

Hey– I am not without guilt here.

I have been in that situation more times than I care to remember and should have had the ladyballs to shut it down every single time. When I didn’t, I always felt like I needed to go home and take a spiritual shower!  Remember, if someone is gossiping about someone to me – well, she is gossiping about me when I’m not around.

God has really working on my heart with this matter since my experience on RHOD.  I noticed a woman (or two) who I thought were “friends” would always bad mouth certain mutual friends when they weren’t around, but made me feel as they were “concerned” with that person. Heck no! They were gossiping. Straight up gossip and slander. Then, when this gossiper betrayed me.. I couldn’t be all that surprised, right. Is that what a “frenemy” is?  I guess I’ve been educated. God showed me that I would keep getting more of what I allowed. No, thank you!  I prayed for new uplifting friends and my prayers were answered. I was also led to many scriptures on the subject and love this one:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29 NIV

How brave are you to shut down a conversation that is going in the wrong direction toward tearing someone down? Even if it makes everyone at the table uncomfortable for a moment. I think women are so eager to “bond” that it takes precedence over their integrity in these situations. It’s impossible for me to discuss this topic and not mention my BFF Heidi. She deserves major props because she is the one at the table who will risk making others feel uncomfortable over giving in to the gossip. I believe that iron sharpens iron and I want to be around women who help make me a better Tiff.

Remember, both gossip and complaining can be very contagious. Be aware and pay attention to how easy it is for you to start gossiping or complaining around certain people and limit your time with them in 2017. I promise it will change your year for the better!

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If we all realized that what we put out there comes back to us 100 fold then we would keep our mouths shut when we are tempted to gossip. If you are being disloyal by telling someones secret or tearing someone down then you will get 100 times the negativity coming back to you. YIKES! No thank you!

Grandma had it right:

If you don’t have anything nice to say.. don’t say anything at all!

Also, let’s revive the Golden Rule:

Treat others as you wish to be treated! 

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P.S. Invest in yourself!  I’m offering a holiday special on private sessions. Buy one private session and get one session. ($300 Value for $150) Let’s work together for 2 hours for the price of 1 hour. 

 

 Special offer ends Dec 15, 2017.  EXTENDED UNTIL DEC 31st! 

Sessions must be used by March 31, 2017. 
Skype sessions available for out of towners.

SIMPLY USE THIS SPECIAL PAYPAL LINK TO PLACE YOUR ORDER NOW >> https://www.paypal.me/TiffanyHendra/150

I look forward to helping you step boldly into 2017!

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WHAT’S FEEDING YOU?

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Hey SOS Sista,

One of the things I love the most about Instagram is coming across thought-provoking quotes and messages. Social Media– if used properly– can be a great tool for your personal development and spiritual growth. (So be conscious of who you follow!!) A few days ago, the above quote really caught my attention. It made me stop and ponder on what I’ve been feeding on this year. Soul sucking or soul enriching food? It’s the perfect time of the year for us all to think about this.

I’ve mentioned how much I love this time of the year because I take time to cocoon. Being a person who is easily distracted, I learned what steps I must take to get focused. Cocooning is a wonderful time for to catch up on reading inspiring books and watching motivational videos. I know you busy mama’s are time restricted especially around the holidays so try taking small chunks to cocoon. Maybe an hour before the kids get up or an hour after they go to bed. It’s vital to our growth that we take time away from meaningless distractions, people who drain us and get focused on the changes we need to make. That truly is the core of SOS! You cannot depend on that once a week sermon you hear on Sunday mornings. If you deeply desire to make hardcore and lasting changes— it takes effort, time and laser-beamed focus.

What have you been feeding yourself in 2016? 

FEED: verb

  1. to give food to

  2. to furnish something essential to the development, sustenance, maintenance, or operation of feeds the mind>

Will you let another year go by feeding your mind and spirit junk food?  2017 is right around the corner and I know you have those goals to set, fears to overcome and a breakthrough around the corner.

Are you ready?
Are you dragging your feet?
Are you allowing insecurity and fear to lead the way? 

I can help you get ready.

I can help you get motivated.

I can help you build more confidence!

Do not allow more time to go by and you get to mid 2017 and still have not made changes. Consider me you spiritual dietician. Let’s get you on a healthy spiritual diet. 

Stop letting yourself down and make 2017 the best ever!

To make it easier on you to take that step forward, I’m offering a holiday special on private sessions. Buy one private session and get one session. ($300 Value for $150) Let’s work together for 2 hours for the price of 1 hour. 

Special offer ends Dec 15, 2017.
Sessions must be used by March 31, 2017. 

Skype sessions available for out of towners.

SIMPLY USE THIS SPECIAL PAYPAL LINK TO PLACE YOUR ORDER NOW >> https://www.paypal.me/TiffanyHendra/150

Look forward to helping you shine & soar!

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STRUTTIN’ TO YOUR BEAT

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A few weeks ago, I had a beautiful long girl’s weekend with my sister. These moments are so cherished now that we’re adults because we truly connect, listen, laugh and even cry a bit. We share self-help books and spiritual concepts and well, she just “gets” me. We are from the same womb…cut from the same cloth. Ya can’t chat about deep spiritual stuff with just anyone so I’m especially grateful to be able to share this part of my life with my sis. During one of our conversations that weekend, I had one of those A-ha moments that Oprah always talks about. I realized that I am officially part of the “I Don’t Give A Damn What People Think Club”. Pardon my French, but hey – there’s really no other way to put it. Revel with me for a moment…

WooHoo!

Yeehaw!

Bowchickabowow!

Hallelujah!

Sho nuff!  

If you’ve been part of SOS for a while you’ve heard me discuss the concept of people pleasing and wearing masks to be what everyone needed me to be. It’s been a long journey of healing, moving on and learning to love myself. This is why the foundation of SOS is about self-love and confidence building and not just clothes. We all know you can buy the most amazing wardrobe, bags & shoes, but if a woman isn’t comfortable in her own skin –  the outer fancy covering won’t cover up the internal mess. At least not for long. The truth always reveals itself. 

Over the years of growth, I’ve had moments of really ‘owning’ it and marching to the beat of my own drum. Recently, I’ve even had a few friends tell me that I do –  especially in regard to the way I dress or how I pick/choose the events I want to attend. Remember ladies, just because you are invited does not mean you have to say yes and accept. Especially when your family suffers not only from your absence, but also from your snappy attitude that comes from you being mad at yourself for saying yes. Sound familiar? I know many women battle people pleasing and seeking approval. It sucks the joy, peace & contentment right out of every fiber of your being and leaves you resenting everyone… and even more angry at yourself!

Oh, so you need me to be _________? Excuse me while I put on that mask so you accept me all while I diss myself. Ok, so now you need me to be ________? Hhhmmph. Let me find that mask real quick so you will feel comfortable while I go against my integrity, intuition, truth and feel completely uncomfortable. Many women get stuck in this rut and routine. It’s equivalent to living life in prison.

WHO WANTS TO BE PART OF THE FREEDOM CLUB? 

WHO HAS HAD MOMENTS OF TIP TOEING TO THE BEAT OF YOUR OWN DRUM, BUT YOU ARE READY TO WHOLEHEARTEDLY STRUT EVERY STEP OF THE WAY? 

It’s time to take ownership of your life! Do you really know what you want? I believe women who sway to everyone else’s beat and wear masks aren’t in touch with themselves and their needs. You certainly don’t have “doormat” written across your forehead so stop acting as if you do. PLEASE! When was the last time you asked yourself what YOU really want? Go have a chat with yourself today. 

Love yourself enough to stand up for what’s best for you… even if it disappoints others. Their temporary disappointed will be gone tomorrow, but when you diss yourself – the disappointment you feel toward you will resonate for days or even weeks. Stop disappointing yourself and start standing up for yourself. Sound like a deal?  

Respect yourself and your needs. How can you expect others to respect you if you don’t respect yourself and set healthy boundaries

Give me your two-cents! Are you already struttin’ to your own beat? Share your a-ha moment. I love seeing my mentoring clients come to this realization! It’s truly life-altering to see women live their truth without apology. 

It’s time to free yourself. Welcome to the club.

Love, Tiff

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DIGGING DEEP IN THE GARAGE [Motivational Vlog]

Hey Warrior Women,

I get inspired in the most unlikely places! Here’s the latest motivational message from my garage..yep, you heard me right! 

WATCH THIS:

CHALLENGE:

  1. Where have you allowed yourself to get locked in to your comfort zone?
  2. Take one baby step this week.
  3. Do it scared.. that is when you experience real courage.

 

Remember, if you are curious about my amazing hot yoga spot, Sunstone Yoga, they make it easy to get started with a FREE WEEK

I have more beauty & style videos coming soon. 

Do something, anything… that scares you this week.

Go kick some serious butt!

Love, Tiff

 

 

TURNING MY PAST INTO MY PURPOSE

Happy February Fab Friends!

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Over the past week, I have been in an abyss of computer-geekness gathering website design elements to have my new site built! My personal site has been neglected for the past few years and as an entrepreneur with a purpose, it is uncalled-for to have an outdated website. Shame on me! Your presence on the world wide web is vital for the success of your brand and company. Any of you who have had a site built for your business will agree with me… can I get an amen?! One of most daunting tasks, especially when you are building a business from your passion, is to have your bio written. This is the story of YOU, your experience and mission for all to read on the vast www. I humbly share this with you sistas so you understand my mission a bit better…

        From the trailer park to Beverly Hills and now back to Texas, Tiffany Hendra teaches women from all walks of life How to Style their Life.  As creator of the webseries Sanctuary Of Style, Tiffany has empowered women around the world to live their most fabulous lives from her private mentoring clients to an online community of over 20,000 women. Tiffany is a Wife, TV Host, Beauty & Style Expert and Lifestyle Mentor to women of all ages.  In addition to those titles, she can also be considered an “inspirationista” who is on a mission to guide women toward living their most fabulous,  healthy, Spiritually-conscious life. Her vision is for women all over the world to overcome their past circumstances and stand confident in their power. Tiffany believes confident women are World Changers!

Where does her passion and calling come from?

She knows many women are walking out the door each day with low self esteem, frustrated with their life. . . “I was one of those women”, says Tiffany.  She lived like this for years despite her successful career which took her around the world. On the surface, Tiffany appeared to have it all and learned the art of wearing a mask, but inside she was slowing dying. After enduring trials through her teen years ranging from sexual abuse to racial bullying, Tiffany lived many years in a shame-based existence. She became self-destructive, numbed herself with drugs and made poor choices from a place of fear instead of power.  After hitting bottom, Tiffany walked away from a successful career in Hollywood and embarked on a year of soul searching – the beginning of a long journey that would transform her mess into her message.

She never thought she was a life coach type…

As Tiffany began to heal from her past, she knew in every fiber of her being that she had to help other struggling women- especially young women- to live healthier and more stylish lives. She immersed herself with studying, learning, volunteering and even teaching everything she could about beauty, health, Spirituality, confidence, style and image. Her first opportunity was instructing a self-development class in Burbank, CA for teen girls ages 13-17. She went on to take skincare courses and became a consultant for Arbonne International teaching women how to change their lives through entrepreneurship. Part time, Tiffany was a sales associate and clothing buyer for a woman’s boutique on the popular 3rd Street in Los Angeles. She assisted her clients in revamping their wardrobe and image. Ironically, at the same time, she was revamping her own personal style. “When I was at my most depressed, this once Fashionista could barely put together a decent outfit herself and usually wore a pair of ugly brown cargo pants with tanks tops…and and I’m not a cargo girl”, Tiffany says. She realized her lifestyle was way out of balance and as she continued reconnecting to her Spirit the more her creativity opened up- even in the closet. During her growth, Tiffany sought out other Spiritually-conscious women and started a Spiritual group and prayer circle in her home for fashion and entertainment industry professionals. All of these experiences added up to be a great training ground for Tiffany.  Now, she is able to continue working on camera and at the same time, be of service to women around the world. “Sometimes when we’re running from our past, we run smack into our purpose”, says Tiffany. She found her calling.. or her calling found her.

Tiffany is extremely effective with teen girls and the various issues they face in their generation. She has mentored girls with depression, eating disorders, sexual and physical abuse, cutting, terminal diseases, suicidal tendencies and unplanned pregnancy.

Tiffany resides in Dallas, Tx with her Australian singer-songwriter husband of 10 years, Aaron Hendra, and their long-haired chihuahua, Zoe. Considering their marriage her biggest accomplishment, Tiffany uses this personal experience to help newlywed clients who are struggling, as she did, with the role of new wife. Aaron and Tiffany share a passion for helping others. They work closely with Sam Childers aka The Machine Gun Preacher and his efforts to rescue and rehabilitate orphaned children in Africa.

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I am grateful that God has turned my HOT MESS into my message.

I am grateful you have joined me on this journey.

I am grateful for my past and the lessons it taught me.

I am grateful for my purpose and for what’s to come.

Love, Tiff

 

 

INTENTION CREATES REALITY {Sunday Affirmations}

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HAPPY SUNDAY SISTAS! 

How was your first week of 2014? Were you able to get in some quiet time to set your intentions, goals and/or resolutions? I spent several days working on mine. Remember, it’s great to take your time with this task- even if it takes you a few weeks. I also had an empowering 3 hour ‘mastermind’ meeting with a trusting friend so we could share our goals with each other. This creates accountability and sets you up for success in a bigger way! This also activates creativity in each of you to come up with ideas to help one another achieve these goals.

Are you wondering what it means to set an intention?  I believe it’s basically making up your mind what you want. How often do you hem & haw about things?  It is so powerful when we get clear, get focused and make up our minds. Then, the real power is in the follow through.  I also believe we are setting intentions when we pray and share with God what we want a desired outcome to be.  Let’s look at intentions without follow through.  How often do we say things like…Oh, I intended to call youOh, it was my intention to lose 5 lbs before summer…I’m sorry I hurt your feelings it was not my intent??  It feels pretty crappy, right?  Let’s get to following through, shall we?  

I see the word intention as a fancy name for GOAL– but, with an added oomph of Spiritual Power behind it.  Without intentions for our life, we tend to wander.  If you feel like you have lost direction and are wandering through life, here are 5 steps to setting intentions:

  1. DECIDE.  What do you want the outcome to be?  It’s as simple as that.  Making the decision is a huge first step!
  2. WRITE IT OUT.  Make it official by writing your intentions in your journal or putting up sticky notes in places you can see them on a regular basis.  I have sticky notes on the sides of my computer monitor, bathroom mirror and fridge.  This is a powerful daily reminder to keep your thoughts going in the right direction.
  3. SHARE.  Find a trusting friend/mentor or group to hold your intentions with you.  By sharing your desired outcome with others, you create a “mastermind” of positive thoughts.  One of my favorite books is “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.  His definition of a mastermind is– “Coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose.”  Make sure to share with those of a like-minded spirit and steer clear of anyone who may try to sabotage your goals or be unsupportive.
  4. LIVE IT.  Act as if your outcome is here NOW!  Speak as if it’s here.  Your words and actions have a powerful effect so be mindful of what you are doing, thinking and saying.  Get committed!
  5. NEVER GIVE UP.  Period.

I know what you are thinking right now– Hey Tiff,  so what’s the difference between affirmations and intentions?  They are marriage partners, first cousins, Batman + Robin!  Affirmations are basically spoken intentions.  They are the daily statements we declare over our lives based on our intentions.  They help you course correct when you tend to wander.  Affirmations and intentions are the power combo to creating the life of your dreams!  Add in specific actions, prayer and a vision board then WATCH OUT– you are destined for success!

THIS WEEK I WILL….

  1. Really think about what I want.
  2. Make up my mind already.
  3. Stop hemming + hawing.
  4. Set intentions for 2014.
  5. Share my intentions with a trusting friend.
  6. Join or create a mastermind group.
  7. Act as if my goals/intentions are here now.
  8. Step out of fear into faith.
  9. Open myself to receive success.
  10. Pray for guidance.
  11. Claim that I am destined for..and deserve the life of my dreams!

What are your intentions for 2014?

Like, share, tweet, pin this post if you found it inspiring!

REMINDER: I will be taking new mentoring/coaching clients in January. If you are serious about committing and investing in yourself, please take advantage of my offer of COMPLIMENTARY 15 MINUTE SKYPE OR PHONE CONSULTATIONS through Wed, Jan 15th. If you are interested, please feel out the contact form on the SERVICES PAGE. Those who take advantage of this January consultation will receive a 25% discount on all packages or single sessions. *If you are not committed to your personal growth, a coach or mentor will not help you. Again, serious inquiries only!

I INTEND ON HAVING AN AMAZING YEAR!

Join me.

Love, Tiff

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