Unfulfilled Potential Sucks

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Just saying the words “unfulfilled purpose” makes me cringe! Who wants to die with their music still inside them? NO ONE! Finding our purpose is a common topic these days in the self-development world. We are all longing and searching for more fulfillment in our life. We crave a sense of purpose and want that fire in our belly when we wake up in the morning. We usually find our purpose on the road (usually a very bumpy, winding one) of growth.

How about you?

Are you living fully in your purpose or are you on a journey of seeking it? 

Do you place your personal growth as a priority? 

Are you intentional about it or are you meandering through life?

If you have been part of SOS for a while, you know I am mega-passionate about my personal growth journey. I adopted the philosophy that if you’re not growing you’re dying. At this stage of my journey, it’s more excruciating for me to stay stagnant than it is to go through the pain of growth and change. I’ve often written and spoken about vision, goal and intention setting, affirmations and just about every tool that will help us move forward. Ok, I’m a bit obsessed. Maybe it’s because I’m a late bloomer and I’m trying to make up for many lost years when I was fooling around and chasing all the wrongs things. I digress.

I see the greatness in people. I see their potential. I want to yank it out of them. But, as much as I can encourage others and give them tools- ultimately, they have to do the work just like I have to do my work. I don’t know about you, but I want to become ALL not some, not a little, not a glimpse, but all that God created me to be. I believe when we embrace that and move confidently toward it — we honor Him.

For the past six or seven years, I take the month of January to focus on this work. It’s important to me that I seek God for guidance and reveal the areas that I really need to focus on. Remember, everyone’s journey is different. At times we are white knuckled and scaling the mountain then we are tip toeing through the daisies in the valley. So, please never judge where you are in your journey to someone else. I read something the other day to the effect of “don’t judge your chapter 2 to someone else’s chapter 22”. Give yourself grace in this process. Heck, just be glad you are in the process, period.

I’ve been reading a ton this month and just had to share this ah-mazing book by John C. Maxwell called THE 15 INVALUABLE LAWS OF GROWTH. His books are always filled with nuggets of wisdom, but this one has especially made an impression on me. He has taken everything he has garnered over 50 years in the personal development industry and shares it in this one book. IT’S SO FREAKIN’ GOOD!!!

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Here’s a few of the Laws:

  • The Law of the Mirror: You Must See Value in Yourself to Add Value to Yourself
  • The Law of Awareness: You Must Know Yourself to Grow Yourself
  • The Law of Modeling: It’s Hard to Improve When You Have No One But Yourself to Follow
  • The Law of the Rubber Band: Growth Stops When You Lose the Tension Between Where You are and Where You Could Be
  • The Law of Contribution: Developing Yourself Enables You to Develop Others

 

This is the perfect book to read at the beginning of the year to set your mind in the right direction! Get it on Amazon then grab a highlighter, a cup of coffee and get to work.

Don’t prolong the pain of being stagnant and your potential being unfulfilled. Growth and change is a choice.

WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE TODAY?

Please share this with any girlfriends who are also serious about growing on purpose.

If you read the book, please stop back by and let me know what you think!

 

Love, Tiff

 

 

 

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GOALS Vs. INTENTIONS: Who’s Ready For An Outstanding October?

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HELLO OCTOBER!

September went by like a blink, right? It takes the entire month to shed the Summer, switch gears and get life back on schedule. By October, we’re getting into the new groove so it’s the perfect time to set intentions and goals for the Fall.  Starting today, we have exactly 3 months of 2015 left.  //Shake your head with me//  Does that stress you out or excite you? It’s a bit of both for me. Stressed because I feel the pressure to do more, be more and accomplish more by the end of the year.  Excited because- Well, hey…I lived through another year! I’ve grown more, learned more and surrendered more. (I hope!!) Plus, Mercury went retrograde mid-September which can make things go haywire and wonky, but it’s also a beautiful time to dust off dormant dreams and projects. Let’s focus on the latter.

As an avid goal and intention setter, I love the challenge of checking things off the list and feeling that sense of accomplishment. But, it’s also important to give ourselves some grace if everything doesn’t get checked off. If you have been part of SOS for a while, you know that I love setting goals and/or resolutions and intentions on the 1st of each month and not just at the new year. This gives me a chance to refocus every month by setting smaller monthly goals to help achieve the bigger yearly goals. Make sense? It’s like taking smaller bites you can digest instead of one big chunk that you end up spitting out because you can’t chew it.

What’s the difference between setting intentions and setting goals? 

An intention is something deeply personal for how you want to be, live, and show up in the world.  It’s a practice and a consistent aspiration to guide you toward balance in your life. To find peace in my heart.  To forgive and let love in.  To treat myself with more respect. To surrender and live fully in the present moment. To release anger instead of holding on to it.  By getting quiet and away from any distractions (kids, phone, computer, television) we are able to focus our mind on what our soul is needing most…RIGHT NOW.  You cannot do this wrong, but an intention is what comes to you in the present moment as opposed to a goal which is typically something we wish to achieve in the future. An intention could be in the form of a quote, a dedication, a prayer. I set my intentions while I’m praying because it’s important to me that I invite God into this practice and view it as being a co-creator of my plans/dreams/growth with Him. Bottom line- I need His help big time!

Also, because I am easily distracted (even if I’m sitting quietly away from distractions- because my mind is always cranking) I like to write out my monthly intentions and goals in my journal. Life is overall so distracting and as I get older and more forgetful, it’s vital for me to write things down! I keep it simple and place them in categories like personal development/spirit, helping others, career, relationships and health. To give you an idea, here’s an excerpt from my journal today:

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT/SPIRIT:

GOAL: Keep reading “The Identity Bond: A Guide To Self-Awareness” by Dr. Melanie Mills  and attend her workshop. (I just paid for my spot at the workshop so that is one step closer to achieving that goal!)

INTENTION: To accept myself more fully. (I’ve been hard on myself lately for wanting to withdraw and cocoon. Why do we always try to change our true nature to please others and make ourself miserable? My introverted side needs this time away to refuel, but I fear disappointing others. I am learning more about this from Dr. Mel.)

Here are some thoughts to help you get started in creating an intention:

  • What matters most to you?
  • What would you like to build, create, or nurture in your life?
  • What would you like to let go of?
  • Who would you like to forgive in your life?
  • How do you feel when you are your happiest self?
  • What makes you proud?
  • What word(s) would you like to align yourself with?
  • What fears would you like to release?
  • What are you grateful for?

10 Intention Examples:

  1. Find balance
  2. Open your mind and heart
  3. Focus on peace
  4. Stay calm and steady
  5. Act with courage
  6. Embrace change
  7. Practice forgiveness
  8. Allow yourself to be vulnerable
  9. Connect with others
  10. Love Unconditionally

If you find if difficult to get started, use one of these if it resonates with you, but try to create something more personal for yourself. I would love to hear your thoughts on this! Like, comment and share if you found it inspiring.  I appreciate it!

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Thank you for joining me on this journey to become our most happy, healthy, loving and fabulous self. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, which is an annual campaign to increase awareness of the disease. While most people are aware of breast cancer, many forget to take the steps to have a plan to detect the disease in its early stages and encourage others to do the same. Click HERE for more info.

Love, Tiff

BA-BYE OLD LIFE: It is possible to live your dreams!

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Happy Sunday Sassafrass!

There’s a bit of a twist to the Sunday post today.  My dear girlfriend Julianna shared these awesome tips last week and I had to pass them along to all of you.  I know we’ve all read a million motivational and self-help books, but I gladly welcome constant reminders like these.  There will be no specific affirmations today so use these 7 tips as your ‘kick in the bootie’ and inspiration for the week ahead…

7 “Have To’s” to Achieve Personal Growth – By Chris Widener

Quite frankly, I wish personal growth would just happen! I wish I would just get better and money would fall out of the sky. I wish my waist would get smaller even as I sit on the couch in front of a warm fire eating Breyer’s Vanilla Bean ice cream. Oh, how I wish it was easy!

Okay, enough whining, enough dreaming, enough lack of reality. I have it out of my system! The reality is that it is work to grow personally. The sooner we realize that, even lovingly embrace that, the sooner we jump on the highway of success! The fact is that we “have to” do some things! As my uncle the truck driver use to say to me when I was a kid, “Wish in one hand and spit in the other – then see which one fills first.” (Remember, he was a trucker, and somebody else may have been a bit more elegant, but I still remember it today, 25 years later. I recommend however that you take it at face value. It isn’t a fun experiment to actually carry out!).

Without any further ado, here are the seven “have-to’s” to achieve personal growth for yourself. Don’t wish anymore! Get on the ball and start reaping the rewards!

1. You have to know what it is that you want.

Wanting personal growth isn’t enough. Do you want more money? How much? Do you want to lose weight? How much? Do you want a spouse? Who? Do you want to travel? Where? Do you want more freedom in your professional life? What would that look like? Clearly define in your mind what it is that you want! Once you do…

2. You have to decide that you really want it.

Do you really want it? That is the place to start, really, because I have realized working with people that many of them really don’t want what they think they want once I talk them through all of the issues. Is this what you really want or is it a dream you have to escape something else? For example, do you really want to quit your job and start your own company? Do you want the risk of reputation? The risk of capital loss? Do you want to work from six in the morning until nine at night, seven days a week for the next two to three years? Do you really want it? Yes? Proceed…

3. You have to be willing to sacrifice to get it.

 What will you give up to get personal growth? I know what I have to give up to be able to fit into size 32 pants – mud pie! Now, you may not think that is so bad, but you don’t know how much I love mud pie! I know that it is a sacrifice for me to get to the gym every day of the week (okay, I usually take two Sunday afternoons a month off). I know how much I write the check out for each month to belong to the gym – it would feed a small army. This is sacrifice, all of it. What are you willing to sacrifice to get personal growth in your life? Are you willing? Then proceed…

4. You have to be willing to be criticized.

 Surprisingly, the average person doesn’t like the average achiever. Why? Because they make the average person feel, well, average. They resent that the achiever makes choices they don’t make, even though they could too. And they secretly resent that the achiever benefits from rewards that they don’t. It seems odd, but working with thousands of people over the years I have seen enough jealousy and envy to fill every seat in the Rose Bowl. Can you handle that to various degrees? Then see number five…

5. You have to decide you want it more than other pleasures.

What is more pleasurable: Ice cream every night or a proper weight? What is more pleasurable: Sitting on the couch or pounding away on a treadmill? What is more pleasurable: Spending your money on the things you want right now or saving for later? What is more pleasurable: Getting off at five every night or working endlessly on the weekends? What is more pleasurable: Reading a favorite novel or a technical book? What is more pleasurable: Four weeks of vacation or one? You get the point. In order to grow personally or professionally, there will have to be a desire to work hard in spite of the pleasures that call your name. And if you work it right, in the end there will be plenty of time to reward yourself with the pleasures of accomplishment. Do you want it more that other pleasures? Really? Then let’s move on…

6. You have to take a long-term approach.

Why do most people fail to accomplish their personal growth goals? Because they take a short-term approach. They know what to do. They do it for a week or a month, then they quit. Every January the gym gets so busy. Then February rolls around and I have no problem getting on the machines! In order to accomplish your personal growth goals, you absolutely, positively must view it as a long-term goal. For example, when most people want to lose weight, what do they do? They change their diet until they lose it. Then what? They change it back and gain the weight back. Instead, they ought to say, I am changing the way I eat for the rest of my life and slowly but surely my weight will take care of itself. And it does! Are you capable of seeing your personal goals in the long-term? Well then you are ready for number seven…

7. You have to diligently, methodically, and relentlessly work at it.

Every day, every week, every year. The more you put into it, the more you get out of it. I was on a conference call with Zig Ziglar last night and he made an incredible revelation. For 25 years he has read for three hours a day! No wonder he oozes information! That is diligence. That is methodical. That is relentless! Can you do the same for yourself in the area you want to grow in? Certainly! But will you, that is the question. If you do, you will achieve any dream you set forth for yourself!

You can achieve personal growth!

It is entirely possible for you to live your dreams!

Put the above to work and you will see them unfold before your very eyes!

Just remember, it won’t just happen to you, you “have-to” do some things!

[Chris Widener- Personal Development and Leadership Expert www.chriswidener.com]

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One thing I would like to add is the importance of praying for yourself, your growth, your goals, your dreams.  Ask God for guidance.  Ask Him to reveal blocks + behaviors that could be sabotaging your growth.

Did this post inspire you?  I would appreciate a shout out, share or tweet!  Spread the love, insight and wisdom with your inner circle.

Remember the fun Valentine’s “Love Yourself” Giveaway is happening on the Facebook Page.

Winner will be announced on Thurs, Feb 14th.

I see a fabulous week ahead greeting you with open arms.  Embrace it.

Love, Tiff