Tag Archives: Personal Growth

It’s Time To Move On + Cross The Bridge

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Happy Humpday Hotties!

The aspect of SOS I love the most is when women who reach out sharing their heart and journey with me. It’s like a beautiful gift I get to unwrap when I open that email or message on social media. The love and inspiration exchanged comes back around to me full circle reminding me we are all in this together!

One message I received yesterday just had to be shared here with you all. The day after the #RHOD reunion aired, I posted the above bridge photo with the caption, “a walk in nature is all that’s needed sometimes to reset our spirit. This bridge is symbolic to me today…MOVING ON. What bridge do you need to cross over today and move on from?”

A lovely lady who follows me on Twitter began reading and watching my SOS content as the Bravo show was airing. She wrote me this yesterday and it touched me. It’s truly a testament on never giving up and how to face our circumstances head on with positivity and gratitude instead of getting stuck and depressed by them….

 

Hi Tiff!! First let me thank you for posting REAL pics on social media showing that you live what you teach and preach!  Not pics of you and Aaron partying or wearing fashions that women like me want, but can’t’ afford. You show us how to do it on a budget!

I get up everyday and look at the picture you posted of the bridge. 

I cross over it and forget about my broken heart, my relationship with my son and how I may never have one with him because I blew it and how my mom gets worse everyday with her MS.

I cross over the bridge and minute by minute forget the man who broke my heart and thank God for restoring my relationship with my son and thank Him that I can be here for my mom. 

It’s easier some days than others!

God has truly given me this time to get healthy and put my life in perspective and to prepare me for the man He has for me.

Like your tweet said a few days ago, “I’m a VESSEL not a VICTIM!” 

 

I pray this encourages you to pick up your feet and pick up your chin. I view God as the bridge toward our Destiny! Who wants to stay on the wrong side forever? Yes, moving on and crossing the bridge takes courage, trust and faith. Aren’t you curious what life is like on the other side? For me, it has been a life of more joy, more freedom, more love, more adventure. That’s my hope for us all.

Love, 

Tiff

 

 

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FOCUS. DECIDE. GO FOR IT. Your March Pep Talk From Tiff [Candid Vlog]

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Hey Sista,

The vlog says it all.

WATCH THIS>>>

What part do you need to work on? Focusing? Making a decision already? Going bigger?

Love to hear how your first 2 months of 2015 have been!

MARCH IS GOING TO ROCK!

Love, Tiff

STOP FIGHTING IT! Embrace The Place You’re In {Candid Motivational Vlog}

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RESISTANCE.

It causes us so much pain, frustration and even anger. In today’s candid video blog I share a realization that will forever change the way I handle growth spurts and the different phases we go through. Are you resisting the phase you’re in or have you embraced the art of surrender?

Check it out…

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Of course, when you open up to receive messages/ hints/nudges – they arrive at precisely the right time. I met with a stunning young women about mentoring and she was telling me about a powerful YouTube video from Oprah’s Master Class. I watched the video tonight and whoa– I had seen it last year and it impacted me then, but the reminder was even more powerful, RIGHT NOW. It goes to show that the concept of surrender is an ongoing practice. Sort of like the concept of forgiveness. It’s something we need to always work on. Although I live my life with God behind the wheel, my “control freak” nature creeps back in from time-to-time creating inner turmoil, resistance and sometimes depression. So….

surrender

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Check this out….

 

Share your two-cents! 

Cheers to letting go sista,

Tiff xo

BLOOM AT YOUR OWN PACE: Stop Trying To Prove Yourself

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BLOOM

 

Happy Sunday Sistas,

As you all know, I am in a new season of life, in a new city and loving the fresh start. With that comes moments of both anxiety and excitement. Anxiety because I’m getting reacquainted with a city that has changed SO much from when I previously lived here, but more so- I think it’s because I have changed. I admit it is a good kind of anxiety- if there is such a thing. Excitement because I am connecting with wonderful women who are full of purpose, passion and integrity. Plus, the fact that I can drive down to visit my parents gives me tremendous peace that I haven’t felt in years.

Over the past few weeks, I have had several convo’s with women from all walks of life- single career women, wealthy stay-at-home moms and women in ministry. These conversations were some of the most authentic, genuine and flat out no B.S. talks I’ve had in a while. A great take-away from each encounter was the realization that I was free from the need to prove myself to any of these women. After years of searching for approval from others and desperately trying to prove myself and my worth- here I am…Tiff, no labels, no titles, no resume, take it or leave it, just as I am…

ME.

Everyone is climbing that mountain and running the race to see who can get to the top or cross the finish line first. Our ego’s want to be fed with that false need to prove something and say “Hey, look at me!” The flowers don’t beg for attention and open up when they are ready….when they have had adequate water and sunlight. It’s a simple analogy, but we could learn a lesson or two from them. They are all equally beautiful so does it really matter which one blooms first? We hear “enjoy the journey” on a regular basis, but are we all so consumed with that finish line or mountain top that we keep ourselves in a state of misery, comparison and competition? The beauty of the journey, the climb- is the growth and strength that’s achieved. Do not try to bypass it or you’ll miss out on your Destiny. There’s really no fun or sense of adventure in life if you went straight to the mountaintop. Sting made a profound comment in the documentary “Twenty Feet From Stardom” about the kids that win “American Idol” at an early age. They are given instant fame, recognition and money- BUT, if they have not had some degree of personal growth they will not sustain a lasting career. They do not have the tools or Spiritual growth to keep them at the top for long. (I’m paraphrasing, but that’s the gist of it) 

Often, I call myself a “late bloomer” and I’m okay with it. My entire 20’s were a time of seeking, self-loathing, fear based decision making and complete confusion. I didn’t start understanding myself…forgiving myself and others…until I was in my early 30’s and allowed God to take over. Remember, before a flower can bloom- it has to first grow underneath the soil, in the darkness and start out as a sprout. Whether you are fully bloomed or barely a sprout today- appreciate where you are and do not compare yourself to others. Don’t try to rush your growth and bypass some of the essential healing and lessons that MUST be learned. That’s a recipe for disaster. Each season, each stage of growth reveals amazing aspects of ourselves. Many stages are downright painful and challenging, but oh so glorious on the other side. That’s how we truly understand who we are, what we want to do and how we want to live our life. We have to go through the dark times in the dirty parts of life in order to really appreciate when we are…

standing tall and blooming like the tulips above.

If life is to be compared to a race- I’m in it for the long haul, the marathon. Not a sprint. I know I used several analogies from a race to a mountain climb to flowers, but I trust it helped to drive the point home. I see so many women who are wearing themselves out trying to prove they are successful, prove they are superwoman or the world’s greatest mom. Do not live your life by someone else’s definition of success. I may not have the biggest bank account, but I have a thriving marriage and healed relationships within my family. God is leading me every single day in my purpose to empower women. Heck, the fact that I’m even alive and breathing and not strung out on drugs somewhere…that is success to me, HOLLA! 

How has the need for approval derailed you? What is stopping you from living life at your own pace, on your terms? Are you distracted by the need to keep up with the pace of other’s? Are you disconnected from your Spirit and trying to take the wheel away from God? It is so exhausting and you’ll stay on the “road always traveled” then end up living someone else’s life. If that’s you today, please put it in “park” and reevaluate your route.

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Cheers to blooming when you are good and ready!

Love, Tiff

 

 

 

 

LET GO ALREADY. GIVE IT UP! {Sunday Affirmations}

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HELLO GORGEOUS!

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During my prayer and meditation yesterday, images came to mind of my former self.  It brought tears to my eyes to see how much God has transformed me.  I was one messed up chick and I still have a long way to go, but I can also acknowledge how far I’ve come!  Who relates?  This is one of the only times I believe it is healthy to look back in the past.  It builds our confidence to see how much we’ve grown and overcome.  When we embark on the path of growth and healing there are MANY things we  have to give up and let go of in order to allow the new and improved behaviors to emerge.  I truly believe this is an ongoing process until the day we die. (Who’s in for the long haul?)   There are attitudes and behaviors that seem to be like “safety mechanisms” we fall back on which really do not serve our highest good.  We outgrow them, but for some reason we tend to want to keep a hold of them.  WHY?  Because we are habitual beings?  We fear change?  Can you think of a few things you need to let go of today?  Why do we hold on to them for so long when giving them up will ultimately SET US FREE?!?! 

Over the past year or so, I have been focusing on my “love walk” and working on putting myself in the other person’s shoes.  I admit to being too prideful in the past and the letting go of the need to always be right or not being able to ask for help has gone hand-in-hand with my focus on love.  It’s nearly impossible to be a prideful person and at the same time be a person who walks in love with an open heart.  When I fully surrender….Wow, talk about freedom!  WOOHOO! CHA CHA CHA!   You know all those beautiful quotes we share on Pinterest that talk about soaring and flying?  Well, that’s what you will feel when you truly give up the things that no longer “fit” your new self.  About a thousand pounds are lifted from your shoulders and what you are left with is more peace and clarity than you ever thought possible!   So, for this week’s affirmations let’s all take a deep look within and first of all, acknowledge those things we’ve outgrown, but are still holding on to– then start working on releasing, giving them up and letting go.

THIS WEEK I WILL GIVE UP….

  1. The fear of failing OR succeeding…yes, some people fear success!
  2. Doubting + second guessing myself.
  3. PRIDE!
  4. Not being able to ask for help.
  5. Gossiping.
  6. Comparing myself to my friends.
  7. Complaining.
  8. People pleasing!!!
  9. Toxic relationships.
  10. Beating myself up + become my biggest cheerleader.
  11. Allowing people to overstep boundaries.

Those are just a few things that I think we all battle with at times, but what are a few specific things you know you need to let go of? 

Are you brave enough to share and comment? 

Sometimes vocalizing these things helps set you on the course!  Try it!

Do you have a friend who needs help in this area?

Share, tweet, pin + like this post.  Thank you!

Cheers to Freedom!

Love, Tiff

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To all my Irish Sistas…….

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It’s the perfect day to rock my emerald green scarf!

CAN’T BECOME A BUTTERFLY WITHOUT THE COCOON {Sunday Affirmations}

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Hi Butterfly!butterfly_2

Where the heck did January go?  It flew by and I’m actually glad because it means we’re a bit closer to spring.  YAY!  I am sure you can tell by now I am not a fan of winter!  This got me thinking about the recent post I wrote about introspection and “checking in with ourselves”.   Because of the challenges over the past few months, I have hibernated lots in January to regroup and get it together.  I call this “cocooning”.  Do you allow yourself to “cocoon”?  Everyone loves a beautiful butterfly, but let’s take a look at what it took (hey, I made a rhyme) to emerge into this beautiful creature. 

The cocoon is a protective barrier to keep the insect safe while it goes through a transformation.  It’s a place of stillness, darkness, quiet and of course, SOLITUDE….and it can flat out suck.  When I began my Spiritual journey in my late 20’s, I didn’t understand how important these times of solitude were and neither did my friends.   They thought something was seriously wrong with me or that I was depressed and anti-social.  Normally, I was Miss Party Queen, but I was choosing to stay in on Saturday nights to read, journal or paint.  SAY WHAT?  I felt emotionally raw and weak at the time, so retreating to my sanctuary, safe haven or cocoon was the only way I could get my strength back.  Now, I have learned to embrace these beautiful times of growth and looking inward and will “come out and play” when I’m ready.  My closest peeps understand this about me now with no judgment or ridicule.  Real friends understand.  Thank God for those amazing friends who don’t put pressure on us and  just let us “be”!

We all want to stretch and spread our wings, but it’s virtually impossible to do so without first spending the necessary time we need in our cocoons.  Transformation is amazing, but it is definitely not easy.  It doesn’t happen over night either.  We need times of stretching and we need times of cocooning in order to change.  IT’S A PROCESS.  TRUST THE PROCESS.  Many fear being alone to face their issues, but what you achieve on the other side is SO worth it.  The STRUGGLE to emerge and break through the cocoon is what builds our STRENGTH.   We all know that the butterfly will die if it comes out of the cocoon too early.  That’s why it is so important to be patient with ourselves during these times of growth.  Don’t rush it!  We are different when we emerge (Hallalujah) so we have to really be in tune with ourselves and perhaps learn a new way of doing things.  You will relate to the world differently and vice-versa.  Some friends may adapt to the new you and some may not.    When you make the decision to become ALL you can be and set out on a serious self-development journey, your friends may change.  You will outgrow people and that’s ok.  Those people have the same right to stay where they are and yes, that’s ok too. 

Many mothers have expressed to me that they don’t have time to focus on their spiritual growth because they are too busy focusing on their children’s growth.  Hey– I totally get it, but I say you have to make the time!   You owe it to yourself.  Don’t stunt your growth just because you are raising your kids.  I know busy mothers do not have the luxury of taking a month to hibernate and decline social engagements, but you can take a 1/2 hour in the mornings or a few hours on the weekends.  Little moments of cocooning are better than none at all.

THIS WEEK I WILL:

  1. Let go of the fear of looking inward.
  2. Spread my wings when I’m ready to fly.
  3. Embrace my transformation and never compare it to others.
  4. Be unapologetic in my choice to grow.
  5. Not rush it.
  6. Trust the process.
  7. Respect where others are on their journey.
  8. Be happy where I am whether I’m stretching or in the cocoon.
  9. Release those friends who do not celebrate the new me.
  10. See my potential and nurture it.
  11. Stay excited with the expectation of what’s on the other side….even though I’m not sure what it is!

I celebrate you!

Remember to share, like, or tweet this post if it encouraged you.  Maybe a friend could use some encouraging as well.

Whether you are currently in the cocoon or out there flying high, I hope your week is full of amazing moments.

Love You Sister,

Tiff

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__________, I love you. (fill in the blank with your name)

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HELLO GORGEOUS!

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Is everyone having a great week so far?  The weather has been gorgeous here in LA with temps between 75-80. (Sorry East Coast Sistas)  I am a summer girl and battle a bit in the winter with staying positive and upbeat so the sunshine and Vitamin D have been a nice boost this week.  Do you get a touch of the winter blues?  I have grown to expect the lull in my energy when Fall rolls around so I kick it into high gear with my prayer time, reading spiritually nourishing books and simply cutting myself some slack.  I know you girls up North are giggling at me because our temps rarely fall below 50 here in Cali, but when you grow up in a hot, humid climate like Houston– I guess geography and atmosphere truly effects your personality for the rest of your life. (Yes, I just made that up! Ha Ha!)  I thrive when it’s hot and wilt when it’s cold.   I know lots of people who will go to the tanning bed in winter just to get the ‘sunshine’.  Ok, my post today wasn’t suppose to be chatting about the weather…..

I want to know if you are checking in with yourself on a regular basis.  Much like you ‘check in’ with your Mom, or a personal trainer, co-worker, client, etc……how often do you check in with yourself?  I guess that’s why I brought up winter being a challenge for me because I find myself being more in-tune with what’s going on inside my head, heart, and spirit at this time of year.  I’m a very sensitive person, but seem to be even more hyper-sensitive in the winter.  Although I prefer the summer, this winter I’ve embraced being forced to stay indoors (we had lots of rain) cuddled up with my journal and being more introspective.  Whew, talk about checking in with yourself and feeling the growing pains.  It’s such a beautiful thing when we spend quality time alone with our thoughts and feelings.  So, when was the last time you truly checked in and asked yourself… how you are doing and really examined your feelings? Women are so crazy busy asking how others are doing and they’re taking care of everyone else’s needs that they never really take the time for themselves. 

Please love yourself enough to do regular check in’s with YOU!  If we gloss over issues and make up excuses for not taking the time for ourselves we stunt our growth.  Some people simply don’t want to feel the pain of growing and can’t sit still with themselves long enough to face their issues.  I’m sorry, but bring on a little pain in order for me to keep getting better, stronger and healthier.  One of my fave Spiritual teachers, Joyce Meyer always says, “I’m not where I want to be, but thank God I’m not where I use to be”.  I didn’t always love myself in fact, it’s been a long journey for me.  On the outside, I appeared to have an exciting life and a great career, but the reality was I didn’t know even know who I was much less truly love myself.  I was too busy trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be.   I’m still on the  journey and yes, I slip up sometimes and beat myself up, but it’s few and far between now.  The minute we all know and believe that we are a precious child of God we change our perception of ourselves.  I hope you realize that truth today!

  •     Love yourself enough to take “me” time.
  •     Love yourself enough to set boundaries and let go of toxic relationships.
  •     Love yourself enough to eat nutrient rich organic foods instead of junk.
  •     Love yourself enough to rock a great outfit instead of “schlepping” around.
  •     Love yourself enough to treat yourself like a queen instead of a pauper.
  •     Love yourself whether they are a size 4 or a 24.
  •     Love yourself enough to speak up and say “no”… and on and on!  I could go on for days.  You get the point!

Enjoy the rest of your week and as always, I am interested to hear your thoughts on this topic.

Share, Like and Tweet this post if you found it inspiring!  You Rock!

I will have a few new beauty + style videos posted soon. Stay Tuned!

Love, Tiff

growth ahead

SPEAK LIFE NOT DEATH {Sunday Affirmations}

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Hey Beautiful,

Julie_angelDrawn by Julie, Age 17

How was your first full week of 2013?  I am fueled by all the excitement and energy that’s buzzing around.  I’ve had a wonderful yet challenging week.  My heart is so full of hope for the girls I’ve been mentoring and I thank you all for your prayers.  I know it’s making a difference!  Some day, I will share more details with you, but for now I wish to protect them.  I have become a surrogate mama and I’m grateful to have the opportunity to speak life into a child who needs it.   I have learned many valuable lessons from this experience, but one of the most important is that the power of our words can alter everything for a person, especially a child.   The words we speak over others can create a flourishing life or total destruction.  The same goes for how we speak over our own lives as well.  I have had to reprogram my messed up thinking from childhood.  It’s been a loooong process, but I finally made it to the other side….well, it’s really not the ‘other side’.  It’s the course I should have been on all along.  My authentic course.  Not the one a parent, teacher, grandparent, coach or mentor created for me.

When you were a child, were you told you were smart?  beautiful?  talented?  My dad never said these things to me, in fact he made me feel down right stupid, but thank God my mom reinforced my strengths and made up for my dad’s lack of encouragement and affection.  For the record, my dad only did what his own father did to him.  I love my dad and we have a much healthier relationship now.

Yep, I’m a late bloomer, but better late than never, right.  Now, I am passionate to help others get back on course as well.  I hope it encourages you to know– at any given moment– we have the choice to change our course.  Be diligent in how you speak to yourself and to others.  Choose to speak life not death.

THIS WEEK I WILL…..

  1. Think before I speak.
  2. Shower others with compliments. Even strangers.
  3. Be encouraging instead of critical.
  4. Stay on my authentic course. (No matter what)
  5. Tell myself every single day, “Girl, you are beautiful!”
  6. Forgive those who criticize me. It’s only a projection of their own insecurities.
  7. Not complain. It puts me in a weak position instead of a powerful one!
  8. Silence my Negative Nellie. Even if I have to use the duct tape!
  9. Take a beat and a breath before I let something stupid fly out of my mouth. (We can’t take words back)
  10. Live with integrity 24/7.
  11. Embrace my own pace!  My personal growth path is an ‘at my own pace’ plan.  I will not judge it… no matter how slow it seems compared to others!

Did any of this resonate with you?  I would love to hear your comments + thoughts. Tweet it and share this post with your friends too. I appreciate it!

A big pat on the back to all of you who joined in the “Complaint- Free Weekend Challenge” on the Facebook Community.  I trust it was an eye-opening experience and raised your awareness in how you speak on a daily basis.  By focusing on the blessings in our lives, we unlock the power for even more blessings to flow.  Complaining does the opposite and blocks the blessings.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

Love, Tiff

ARE YOU READY TO LAUNCH?

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Hey My Style + Spirit Sistas!

HAPPY HUMPDAY!  How is your week going so far?  I have listened to as many interviews on The Daily Love Extravaganza as I could over the past few days and WHOA BABY- there has been so much beautiful insight and wisdom shared by a variety of life coaches and thought leaders.  I’m looking forward to catching Mastin Kipp, the creator of TDL,  interview my girlfriend Ali Brown on today’s lineup.  I am so grateful for these free resources and tools to help me acknowledge any blocks that could be holding me back.  Growing is not always easy– in fact, it’s pretty painful at times– BUT, I believe staying the same is ultimately MORE devastating and heart wrenching.

QUESTION? Do you put your personal growth as a priority?

The fact that you are here on this blog and have joined me on this journey says that you are interested in becoming the best that you can be (body/mind/spirit), but how much time, focus and energy to you really devote to YOU?  I admit, I still have so much growing to do, so much to learn, many more breakthroughs + shifts to experience.  Transformation is not an overnight process!  But, I am determined and will not give up.  I hope you won’t either.  Investing in yourself is the absolute BEST investment you will ever make.  Like I said, growing can be painful so don’t get discouraged when you feel like you’re drudging through mud and it seems like everything is falling apart.  The beauty of the challenges, trials and difficulties is the amazing strength we gain from it.   These are the moments that will propel you into your greatness.   [STOP] and picture yourself 10 years ago.  Enough said.  It’s all worth it, right?!?

Last Spring, I heard a sermon by Bishop T.D. Jakes that made such an impression on me.  He spoke about an arrow and what it takes to propel it…the tension needed, being pulled back, etc.  Then a few days ago, I saw this fantastic quote along the same lines and it was a great encouragement to me and wanted to share.  You may have seen it on the SOS Facebook Community:

“Whenever God pulls back a bow, the arrow is going to go further than it’s ever gone before. I believe that’s the turning point.” — T.D. JAKES

I would love to hear your comments + thoughts!

Ok, now a style tip and ‘must have’ that I’ve got to mention!  I’m googoo-gaga obsessed with the oversized cat-eye shades right now.  I’m on the hunt and haven’t found the purrrfect shape for my face yet, but mama’s on a mission.  They’re so Glam with a capital G!!!  Audrey Hepburn first made them famous in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”!   Have you rocked them this fall?  I would love to see a pic!

Hope you fly high and soar through the rest of the week with many magical moments, lots of belly laughs and bag-free undereyes!

Love, Tiff