WHATCHA SAYING TO YOURSELF? 3 Simple Steps To Positive Self Talk

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Hello Gorgeous!

That simple but powerful statement is today’s topic. A few days ago, I was sitting staring at this coffee cup and thinking how much I love to say this to my friends and I even open most of my SOS webisodes with it. I started wondering how many women actually say that to themselves.  I would bet it’s probably a terribly low percentile of about 10% and that’s on the high range.Think about it.

Do you ever look in the mirror and tell yourself you are gorgeous?

I admit, on most days I look in the mirror and focus on the sagging skin, circles under my eyes, that varicose vein that’s popping out on my leg and the list goes on. Sad this is how we start the day! That’s why I harp on positive affirmations so much. Our mental chatter goes on alllllllllllll day long! We are literally talking to ourselves all day every day. I’m not just referring to how we talk about our physical appearance either. We are either beating ourselves up for the past, feeling guilty about something we did today or have anxiety about the future. This is enough to keep you in a negative spiral 24/7. Who wants to live in freedom from the prison of your mind? ME! My hand is raised and this is what I try to practice every single day. Our minds are powerful and some days are harder than others. If we allow ourselves to spiral too long, we end up in a dark place that’s tough to get out of. I know! I battled depression for many years while I was hiding my secrets and self medicated with drugs. We all deserve to live in freedom. So, it’s up to us to change how we speak to ourselves. No one can do it for us.

Here are 3 simple steps I have found to stay above the dark zone: 

STEP 1: Acknowledgement. We have to take ownership and acknowledge that we’re thinking and saying negative things to ourselves.

STEP 2: Stop that crap. Don’t allow yourself to wallow and play that negative CD over and over in your head. Acknowledge it then stop the thought.

STEP 3: Replace. Once you stop yourself and that crappy thought you must immediately replace it with a positive one. I’ll give you an example of something I thought this morning. “I’m so lazy and feel chunky because I haven’t worked out in a week”… then replaced it with “Hey, I’m not lazy and have been working out hard all year and deserve a break for a few weeks. I’ll get back on the program next week. Enjoy some vacay time Tiff”. It’s all about seeing the positives instead of always focusing on the negatives. See how I turned a “beat myself up” thought into a positive one along with a praise for how hard I’ve worked out all year. We would say the same thing to our best friend. We extend grace to those we love all the time so why is it so difficult to give it to ourselves?

We can talk ourselves out of anything which will stall our goals and dreams. Positive self talk can change the entire direction of our life! This is why I’m a firm believer in using affirmations as a tool to stay on track. I have positive sayings, verses and quotes hanging all over my house.

If you are new to SOS and have not received my affirmations e-book, go to www.TiffanyHendra.com and join the mailing list. The book will come to your inbox for FREE! It’s a compilation for 101 of my favorite affirmations from my Sunday evening blog posts.

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GUESS WHAT?

I’m excited we are back in the sanctuary taping new videos!!! WooHoo!

Any topic you want to see? Comment and let me know. 

Love, Tiff

DEFLECT THE BS!

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Good Morning Gorgeous!

My spiritual mentor and sisterella, Dr. Melanie Ross Mills posted this yesterday and I just had to share it with you all.

May the force be with you today! You have the power to deflect bad vibes, bad moods, narcissistic behavior, manipulation and not take others BS on as your own. 

CHOOSE TO DEFLECT.

SET THE HARD BOUNDARY.

DON’T GET CAUGHT UP IN THE TORNADO OF DRAMA.

STAY CENTERED.

LET GO OF YOUR PEOPLE PLEASING WAYS & STAY TRUE TO YOU.

 

My tweet this morning:

To maintain honest relationships w/ others we must 1st be true to ourselves. Living a lie breeds inauthenticity in every area. 

Again, you have the choice not take on other people’s BS.

 

Ok, go about being fabulous and free.

Love, Tiff

 

 

A MAGIC PRODUCT [New Beauty Vlog]

 

Happy Weekend My Loves!

After spending an hour in Ulta trying all the popular BB & CC creams, I am thrilled to share my  top pick with you ladies.  It’s seriously a magic product and I wish I had found it months ago. The IT COSMETICS CC+ with illumination and SPF 50 makes you look flawless and it saves time. Hallelujah!

WATCH THIS: 

 

Here’s the MAC #187 stipple brush I buff the cc cream with:

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What did you think of my candid “Video from the Vanity”?

I have several new beauty products to share with you so stay tuned!

Comment and let me know. I would love to hear your 2-cents.

Make sure to share this with your friends. This product is perfect for the busy woman!

Love,

Tiff

P.S.

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As I mention in the video, please release any unloving thoughts about yourself and begin the daily mirror work of telling yourself you love yourself! Focus on your strengths and unique qualities that make you beautiful. The moment you are about to cut yourself down or tell yourself you are stupid- STOP! Replace those abusive thoughts with loving ones and watch your life transform.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

Love Is The Best Investment

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I encourage you to invest in yourself, too.

We cannot give away what we don’t have.

This quote by Audrey is so simple yet so powerful.

Make sure your own love tank is always filled up so you have a reservoir to give to others.

I had a massive week and am funning on fumes today so I plan to get in a pilates class this weekend, sit in the sauna with the new Spring magazines and hopefully get in a nap too.

What can you do this week to fill-er-up? 

Wishing you a blessed Valentine’s Day and hope you all get huge returns on your investments today!

With love + gratitude,

Tiff

WHERE IS YOUR CROWN? A Call To Action

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How fast did January fly by? We’re wrapping up the first month of 2015 and have gotten back into the groove or perhaps you’re trying to create a new groove for the year. With the hustle of life, women easily and willingly shove their crowns in the back of the junk drawer. Where is your crown these days? (Yes, I’m referring to your invisible metaphoric one, but if you want to rock a real tiara- go right ahead sista!)  How is your “queendom” looking? How are you feeling- body, mind & spirit?

I want to encourage you to make your “self-care” a top priority and treat yourself like the queen that you are. You are not a martyr, you are not a slave, you are not a pauper.

YOU ARE A QUEEN! THIS IS YOUR CALL TO ACTION FOR 2015!

Beautiful miracles open up in your life when you pamper, respect and love yourself. Too many women view this as selfish or self-indulgent. Moms, if you are taking good care of yourself, you are setting an example for your children to do the same. It goes the same for the opposite. If you are neglecting yourself, you are setting that negative example for your kids.

Everyone’s life is different so the various levels of self-care will be different for every woman, but here are a few ways we can all make self-care a priority this year:

  1. BE SPONTANEOUS. Take a break each week and do something totally spontaneous. I know this sounds contradictory to plan spontaneity, but we gotta do what we gotta do, right. Basically, it’s giving yourself free time each week and sometimes even that has to be scheduled. For example, on a day that has a light schedule, go do something totally fun. Last Friday after a morning meeting- which I had blocked off more time for than was needed- and when the meeting ended sooner than expected my girlfriend (who was also at the meeting) and I headed to the mall, grabbed a Starbucks for shopping stamina and went hunting  for boot sales! Totally spontaneous and just what the doctor ordered after a very busy week.
  2. ASK FOR HELP. This is a big one because we don’t like to “put people out” or bother anyone. I admit to being really weak in this area because 1. I’m a control freak and 2. I don’t like to bother people. As my schedule gets crazier and I have more responsibilities, I am forcing myself out of my comfort zone and asking for help. A queen allows people to do things for her. She’s not a B@&*# about it and she’s not demanding. She simply knows her queendom will run more efficiently when she delegates and isn’t afraid to ask people to do things that they are probably much better at than she is anyway.
  3. WEEKLY PAMPERING. Create a “Just for me” cash stash and go blow it on yourself every single week. Yes, I said every week not every few months. Get a mani/pedi, massage, facial, body wrap or treatment, etc every week. Maybe put the money toward an empowering seminar you’ve been wanting to take which pampers your spirit. I admit, I still do my nails at home every once in a while for convenience, but I started a “just for me” cash stash a few years ago and it is one of the best ways to practice self- care. I can no longer use the excuse of lack of funds for neglecting myself.

The list really could go to a hundred ways to take care of yourself, but these 3 things have stood out to me recently between my private lifestyle mentor clients and girlfriends. Don’t wait until you have chronic migraines, resent your family for spreading you thin and you begin to feel like a doormat. Start today. Set your intention on rockin’ that crown proudly.

 

I wanted to share one of my favorite Oprah quotes and just googled it to find there was more to it. I’m excited to add this to the post:

Be A Queen by Oprah

 

Be a queen. Dare to be different. Be a pioneer. Be a leader. Be the kind of woman who in the face of diversity will continue to embrace life and walk fearlessly toward challenge. Take it on! Be a truth seeker and rule your domain, whatever it is—your home, your office, your family—with a loving heart.

Be a queen. Be tender. Continue to give birth to ideas and rejoice in your womanhood… my prayer is that we will stop wasting time being mundane and mediocre… we are daughters of God—here to teach the world how to love…

It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through, where you come from, who your parents are—nor your social or economic status. None of that matters. What matters is how you choose to love, how you choose to express that love through your work, through your family, through what you have to give to the world…

Be a queen. Own your power and glory!

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Cheers to my fellow daughters of God!
Please leave a comment and share if you’re going to dust off your crown and make sure to share this with your friends who need this call to action as well.
Love, Tiff

 

5 THINGS TO LET GO OF IN 2015: The 1st Motivational Vlog of the Year

Hey Chicas!

Grab a cup of coffee, tea or a kale smoothie (wink) and your iPad and have some girl time with me. This is the very 1st motivational vlog of the 2015 and this time I’m giving you a list of 5 things to stop doing instead of adding more things to your to-do list this year. As we all plan to go bigger and elevate every aspect of our life we have to get rid of and grow out of behaviors that hold us back from being our ultimate best!

The heartfelt comments women are leaving on this video have inspired me and deepened my passion for the purpose of SOS. Women around the world are being braver than ever right now and stepping into their destiny.

Are YOU joining us? 

I hope so.

Love, Tiff

STOP SHRINKING! You Are Meant to Live Big

 

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During my morning reading, the author made reference to my favorite quote by Marianne Williamson. I’ve loved this quote for many years, but the section that jumped out at me this morning was “your playing small does not serve the world”. This concept is part of the theme I want us all to live by this year! You may remember my new year wish that stated, “Laugh loud, love hard, live big”. Coming across this quote today solidified this theme for me.

Are you going to join me? 

Read the entire quote slowly:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 

― Marianne WilliamsonA Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

 

  • Have you been living small?
  • Are you afraid of your innate power?
  • Do you realize (really, really, realize) you are a child of God?
  • Do you dim your light and shrink around certain people?

I lived small, wasn’t powerful, didn’t know my worth as a child of God and would shrink back for years. I even wore brown, beige or black during that period. I know that’s why I was so drawn to this quote. It resonated with me and has been a driving force behind SOS.  2015 is our year to shine brighter and by doing so we will give others the freedom to shine their brightest as well. Yes, there will be those who feel threatened by your radiance, but DO NOT dim your light so they will feel comfortable. Some friends will prefer the small you because it makes them feel big. A true friend will grow with you and support the new, shinier you. Shrinking and dimming is truly a disservice to the world and a slap in God’s face. He created you to shine! 

The world does not need more women playing small. As my motto says, “confident women change the world”, so it’s time to stop dimming your light. The world is desperate for it. It’s time to stop holding back and start stepping out.. and struttin’ it! It’s time to stop crying and start laughing. It’s time to stop needing and start believing. It’s time to realize your gifts, share them and stop hiding them.

Small thinking leads to small actions which lead to a small life.

Big thinking leads to big actions which lead to a BIG LIFE.

Which do you choose?

Make a comment and share how you can live bigger in 2015.

Love, Tiff

10 HABITS OF HEALTHY CHICKS

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The topic of health and living our best, most fabulous and spiritually conscious lives is what the foundation of SOS is based on. My wish is for every woman to rock their personal style, but more importantly I want them to be strong and healthy in body, mind and spirit first. I am here to help you relearn how to love yourself and realize

how important you are,

how beautiful you are and

how powerful you are.

It has been a long journey of relearning for me and I’m still a work-in-progress. I abused my body with low nutrient junk foods and recreational drugs. I abused my spirit and mind with toxic thoughts toward myself. I was one unhealthy chick! Which means I was one unhappy chick. Healthy in every area equates to happy.

Throughout my journey I have found these key elements are vital to maintaining a healthy lifestyle:

1. Early to bed, early to wake. I realize this is impossible for some diehard night owls, but generally those who get adequate sleep start the day early feel more refreshed and creative. Our bodies regenerate during sleep so if you’re depriving yourself of sleep you are damaging your immune system. Sleep is also one of the most important beauty tips because it keeps you looking young.

2. Attitude of gratitude. Once you gotten enough sleep and wake up early, healthy chicks take some time every morning (even if it’s in the shower) to count their blessings. The happiest and healthiest chicks I know have a disciplined practice of gratitude journaling, prayer & meditation. The complaining sourpuss is usually sickly with constant physical ailments. You could probably think of a few family members or friends right now who are forever complaining about having a migraine or stomach issues, am I right? When I was living fully in shame and negativity, I was always sick! 

3. Move, move, move. Being sedentary is a recipe for depression and physical issues. I get it– some people hate working out with a passion! Find something you enjoy like dancing or rollerskating that doesn’t feel like a workout. Luckily, I loved playing sports as a kid and have been a powerwalker since I was 13. I learned early on that walking helped my mind as much as it helped my figure. Now, I kill two birds with one stone and love listening to various speakers on Podcast One while I walk. I get in a physical workout and a mental & spiritual workout at the same time! Highly recommend it.

4. Eat & drink right. This is a super important key to health. You really are what you eat! We are so lucky to live in a generation with so much knowledge about foods and modifications. Our parents didn’t have this knowledge and many of them are suffering from diabetes and high blood pressure now. Pay attention to what you are sticking in your mouth sista! If I eat low energy and low nutrient foods, I will feel it immediately. I’ll have a slight headache and feel lethargic. Trust me, I am all for indulging once a week, but I  know that I will feel it the next day. Also, healthy chicks are conscious of their alcohol and sugary drink consumption. Water is the first thing they reach for!

5. Birds of a feather. We all rub off on each other. Healthy and happy chicks are conscious of surrounding themselves with happy and healthy friends. It is human nature to take on someone’s behavior- to a degree– when we are around them a lot. I grew up in a home where there was constant complaining and naturally, I took on that behavior and have had to work really hard to reverse it. We can’t live in a happy bubble 24/7 so make sure your mentally & spiritually strong to be able to affect the negative people in your life in a positive way… instead of them infecting you! Holla!!    

6. Make the best of it. Bad crap happens to all of us. Healthy chicks choose to see the silver lining in challenging circumstances. They can see the blessing or the lesson in the situation. They do not play the victim or sit and wallow in the crap. I use to be the Queen Wallow! Allow yourself a quick pitty party, cry, scream then dust yourself off and dry your eyes because you have important stuff to do.

7. Lend a hand. Another key to being spiritually healthy is helping others on a regular basis. Talk about a mood lifter and game changer! The minute you sense yourself slipping down the slide of worry and fear- go find someone who needs some help. The healthiest and happiest chicks I know are the first ones to visit a sick friend with a big pot of soup or take an elderly aunt to her doctor appt. Now, make sure you don’t take it to the opposite extreme and wear yourself out trying to help everyone which is actually very unhealthy!

8. Mindfulness. Everyone is busy. We are in an age of multitasking. We make phone calls in the car while listening to news radio at the same time. We start dinner while helping the kids with their homework plus answering texts from friends. Mindfulness is the practice of purposely focusing your attention on the present moment—and accepting it without judgment. When I’m overloaded with distractions, I skip listening to podcasts during my walks and savor the quiet. Scientifically, mindfulness has been found to be a key element in happiness. Being present– not living in the past or too much in the future- is one of the greatest obstacles we face especially with the constant distractions of people, email, social media and television. I keep my phone on silent A LOT! My hubby and I have gotten in the habit of turning our phones to silent before we have dinner. This allows us to connect and be present with each other. A marriage without mindfulness is a set up for disaster.

9. Stress managers. A healthy woman knows her limits and finds outlets for stress. This could be as simple as turning off the phone like I mentioned in #8 and taking a quiet moment to get centered when too many people are pulling at us. It could be practicing yoga, singing in the car and watching funny movies on a regular basis for a good laugh. Another key to keeping stress low is the ability to say no and setting healthy boundaries.

10. Body love. There’s a few aspects to this one, physically and spiritually. When we have a healthy love for ourselves, we take notice of things going on in our body instead of ignoring it. A healthy chick gets to the dentist regularly, performs self exams and schedules her annual pap. We are more in tune with our hormonal fluctuations and how certain medications effect us. We don’t just take antibiotics at the drop of a hat.

 

Yes, life happens and we can get out of balance from time to time. It may be a challenge to have all 10 of these operating smoothly every single day, but I encourage you if you are too far off in a few of these areas- make some small tweaks in order to elevate your life and be your most healthy….

and happy!

I want to hear from you. Comment, share, tweet and let me know which of the 10 you are going to tackle.

Love, Tiff

As A Woman Thinketh, So Is She

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Every word spoken and action taken – all begins with a thought. We mold and design our lives with the way we think. Our thoughts have both creative and destructive power.

Are you creating the life of your dreams or do you sabotage and destroy anything good that comes your way?

What are the dominant thoughts you have toward yourself?

Regardless if we are conscious of it or not, our underlying beliefs about ourself shape our character, our health, our appearance, our relationships, our circumstances, and our destiny. No matter what their age, self-love is a sensitive subject with the women I mentor. Too many women are living life with a deep sense of hatred, shame and disappointment toward themselves. The choices we make, the men we date, our level of passion and purpose are all a product of either loving or hating ourselves.

What do you really think about you?

Since the beginning of SOS, I’ve shared how throughout my 20’s I lived in shame, fear and brokenness. I was trying my best to carry a ton of baggage that nearly broke my spirit all while appearing like I had it all together. I know many of you relate. Women are numbing themselves with dangerous things that appear to be harmless like self- medicating with alcohol, prescription meds, shopping and food. I know, I did it all.

Most of my decisions and actions came from a negative viewpoint of myself. I was not conscious of my thought patterns at all and would wallow in anxiety, complaining and misery. When I was tired of wallowing, I would numb myself. It’s simple – if we think high, noble and pure thoughts our lives will go that direction. On the opposite hand, if we think lowly, dark and hateful thoughts- well, you get the picture. It took years to realize I had to begin by forgiving myself for some of the stupid choices I made.

I did not think very highly of me. 

Because my mind was so polluted, it took a lot of work and God’s Love & Grace to clear it out. It reminds me of a car that has been smoked in for years. Yuck! It takes so much work and fumigating to clear it out and there’s always that tiny bit of residual smoke smell. So, you’re always spraying perfumes and hanging deodorants to mask the smell. My mind needed serious fumigating to get rid of the pollution I had accumulated over the years.

Love really was the ultimate fumigation system. My broken, shame-ridden heart had to be so filled with love again that it squeezed out all the pollution in my mind. Psalm 23:7 is a short, but profound verse, “For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he”. Get it? The verse is referring to the heart thinking when we typically view our mind as the starting point of our thoughts. God loved me all along, but I didn’t realize it. I had to learn to receive it.

The truth that you cherish about yourself in your heart (your private thoughts) create the vision in your mind then determines what you become.

Loving yourself and allowing God’s Love into your life is the foundation of you becoming who you are destined to be. What can you begin doing today to fumigate any lingering pollution? M. Scott Peck, M.D. – author of The Road Less Traveled describes self-love so clearly. “Self-love implies the care, respect and responsibility for the knowledge of the self. Without loving one’s self one cannot love others. But do not confuse self-love with self-centeredness.” 

  • Begin with forgiving yourself.
  • Take better care of your basic needs. Eat & sleep well, exercise, interact in healthy activities.
  • Set healthy boundaries in your relationships.
  • Learn to say no.
  • Live with intention & purpose. 

LET THE LOVE IN.

Xo, Tiff

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LIVING IN THE OVERFLOW: Fill Up Your Love Tank This Weekend [Candid Vlog]

Happy Weekend My Sistas,

Many of you have asked me to please continue sharing the candid “Motivational Monday” vlog style webisodes that I have posted the past few weeks. Since last Monday was a holiday, I thought I would share some SOS love & encouragement at the end of the week. No makeup or fancy lighting- just my heart to yours: 

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Who is going to take this assignment seriously? I want to hear all about what you did for YOU this weekend and how it felt to “fill” yourself up. Remember, let go of the guilt and flip your thinking if you find that “me time” leaves you feeling selfish. You are actually doing your family & friends a disservice by not taking care of yourself. Living in the overflow will allow you to give- without resentment– to those who need you.

GIVEAWAY REMINDER: 

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(2) SOS Blog Subscribers will win either 2 of the products mentioned in the Summer Beauty Regimen video or a TARGET gift card plus both will receive a signed copy of my hubby’s new CD, Octobersong and an “ALIVE” V-neck Tee. Go HERE for the details to enter! Winners announced June 6th. Good luck! 

 

Comment, Tweet, Share the SOS Love!

Make a date with yourself this weekend & let me know how it went.

It’s the last day of May! Remember to set your intentions for June, but then surrender it all.

Love, Tiff