WHATCHA SAYING TO YOURSELF? 3 Simple Steps To Positive Self Talk

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Hello Gorgeous!

That simple but powerful statement is today’s topic. A few days ago, I was sitting staring at this coffee cup and thinking how much I love to say this to my friends and I even open most of my SOS webisodes with it. I started wondering how many women actually say that to themselves.  I would bet it’s probably a terribly low percentile of about 10% and that’s on the high range.Think about it.

Do you ever look in the mirror and tell yourself you are gorgeous?

I admit, on most days I look in the mirror and focus on the sagging skin, circles under my eyes, that varicose vein that’s popping out on my leg and the list goes on. Sad this is how we start the day! That’s why I harp on positive affirmations so much. Our mental chatter goes on alllllllllllll day long! We are literally talking to ourselves all day every day. I’m not just referring to how we talk about our physical appearance either. We are either beating ourselves up for the past, feeling guilty about something we did today or have anxiety about the future. This is enough to keep you in a negative spiral 24/7. Who wants to live in freedom from the prison of your mind? ME! My hand is raised and this is what I try to practice every single day. Our minds are powerful and some days are harder than others. If we allow ourselves to spiral too long, we end up in a dark place that’s tough to get out of. I know! I battled depression for many years while I was hiding my secrets and self medicated with drugs. We all deserve to live in freedom. So, it’s up to us to change how we speak to ourselves. No one can do it for us.

Here are 3 simple steps I have found to stay above the dark zone: 

STEP 1: Acknowledgement. We have to take ownership and acknowledge that we’re thinking and saying negative things to ourselves.

STEP 2: Stop that crap. Don’t allow yourself to wallow and play that negative CD over and over in your head. Acknowledge it then stop the thought.

STEP 3: Replace. Once you stop yourself and that crappy thought you must immediately replace it with a positive one. I’ll give you an example of something I thought this morning. “I’m so lazy and feel chunky because I haven’t worked out in a week”… then replaced it with “Hey, I’m not lazy and have been working out hard all year and deserve a break for a few weeks. I’ll get back on the program next week. Enjoy some vacay time Tiff”. It’s all about seeing the positives instead of always focusing on the negatives. See how I turned a “beat myself up” thought into a positive one along with a praise for how hard I’ve worked out all year. We would say the same thing to our best friend. We extend grace to those we love all the time so why is it so difficult to give it to ourselves?

We can talk ourselves out of anything which will stall our goals and dreams. Positive self talk can change the entire direction of our life! This is why I’m a firm believer in using affirmations as a tool to stay on track. I have positive sayings, verses and quotes hanging all over my house.

If you are new to SOS and have not received my affirmations e-book, go to www.TiffanyHendra.com and join the mailing list. The book will come to your inbox for FREE! It’s a compilation for 101 of my favorite affirmations from my Sunday evening blog posts.

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GUESS WHAT?

I’m excited we are back in the sanctuary taping new videos!!! WooHoo!

Any topic you want to see? Comment and let me know. 

Love, Tiff

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DEFLECT THE BS!

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Good Morning Gorgeous!

My spiritual mentor and sisterella, Dr. Melanie Ross Mills posted this yesterday and I just had to share it with you all.

May the force be with you today! You have the power to deflect bad vibes, bad moods, narcissistic behavior, manipulation and not take others BS on as your own. 

CHOOSE TO DEFLECT.

SET THE HARD BOUNDARY.

DON’T GET CAUGHT UP IN THE TORNADO OF DRAMA.

STAY CENTERED.

LET GO OF YOUR PEOPLE PLEASING WAYS & STAY TRUE TO YOU.

 

My tweet this morning:

To maintain honest relationships w/ others we must 1st be true to ourselves. Living a lie breeds inauthenticity in every area. 

Again, you have the choice not take on other people’s BS.

 

Ok, go about being fabulous and free.

Love, Tiff

 

 

A MAGIC PRODUCT [New Beauty Vlog]

 

Happy Weekend My Loves!

After spending an hour in Ulta trying all the popular BB & CC creams, I am thrilled to share my  top pick with you ladies.  It’s seriously a magic product and I wish I had found it months ago. The IT COSMETICS CC+ with illumination and SPF 50 makes you look flawless and it saves time. Hallelujah!

WATCH THIS: 

 

Here’s the MAC #187 stipple brush I buff the cc cream with:

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What did you think of my candid “Video from the Vanity”?

I have several new beauty products to share with you so stay tuned!

Comment and let me know. I would love to hear your 2-cents.

Make sure to share this with your friends. This product is perfect for the busy woman!

Love,

Tiff

P.S.

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As I mention in the video, please release any unloving thoughts about yourself and begin the daily mirror work of telling yourself you love yourself! Focus on your strengths and unique qualities that make you beautiful. The moment you are about to cut yourself down or tell yourself you are stupid- STOP! Replace those abusive thoughts with loving ones and watch your life transform.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

Love Is The Best Investment

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I encourage you to invest in yourself, too.

We cannot give away what we don’t have.

This quote by Audrey is so simple yet so powerful.

Make sure your own love tank is always filled up so you have a reservoir to give to others.

I had a massive week and am funning on fumes today so I plan to get in a pilates class this weekend, sit in the sauna with the new Spring magazines and hopefully get in a nap too.

What can you do this week to fill-er-up? 

Wishing you a blessed Valentine’s Day and hope you all get huge returns on your investments today!

With love + gratitude,

Tiff

WHERE IS YOUR CROWN? A Call To Action

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How fast did January fly by? We’re wrapping up the first month of 2015 and have gotten back into the groove or perhaps you’re trying to create a new groove for the year. With the hustle of life, women easily and willingly shove their crowns in the back of the junk drawer. Where is your crown these days? (Yes, I’m referring to your invisible metaphoric one, but if you want to rock a real tiara- go right ahead sista!)  How is your “queendom” looking? How are you feeling- body, mind & spirit?

I want to encourage you to make your “self-care” a top priority and treat yourself like the queen that you are. You are not a martyr, you are not a slave, you are not a pauper.

YOU ARE A QUEEN! THIS IS YOUR CALL TO ACTION FOR 2015!

Beautiful miracles open up in your life when you pamper, respect and love yourself. Too many women view this as selfish or self-indulgent. Moms, if you are taking good care of yourself, you are setting an example for your children to do the same. It goes the same for the opposite. If you are neglecting yourself, you are setting that negative example for your kids.

Everyone’s life is different so the various levels of self-care will be different for every woman, but here are a few ways we can all make self-care a priority this year:

  1. BE SPONTANEOUS. Take a break each week and do something totally spontaneous. I know this sounds contradictory to plan spontaneity, but we gotta do what we gotta do, right. Basically, it’s giving yourself free time each week and sometimes even that has to be scheduled. For example, on a day that has a light schedule, go do something totally fun. Last Friday after a morning meeting- which I had blocked off more time for than was needed- and when the meeting ended sooner than expected my girlfriend (who was also at the meeting) and I headed to the mall, grabbed a Starbucks for shopping stamina and went hunting  for boot sales! Totally spontaneous and just what the doctor ordered after a very busy week.
  2. ASK FOR HELP. This is a big one because we don’t like to “put people out” or bother anyone. I admit to being really weak in this area because 1. I’m a control freak and 2. I don’t like to bother people. As my schedule gets crazier and I have more responsibilities, I am forcing myself out of my comfort zone and asking for help. A queen allows people to do things for her. She’s not a B@&*# about it and she’s not demanding. She simply knows her queendom will run more efficiently when she delegates and isn’t afraid to ask people to do things that they are probably much better at than she is anyway.
  3. WEEKLY PAMPERING. Create a “Just for me” cash stash and go blow it on yourself every single week. Yes, I said every week not every few months. Get a mani/pedi, massage, facial, body wrap or treatment, etc every week. Maybe put the money toward an empowering seminar you’ve been wanting to take which pampers your spirit. I admit, I still do my nails at home every once in a while for convenience, but I started a “just for me” cash stash a few years ago and it is one of the best ways to practice self- care. I can no longer use the excuse of lack of funds for neglecting myself.

The list really could go to a hundred ways to take care of yourself, but these 3 things have stood out to me recently between my private lifestyle mentor clients and girlfriends. Don’t wait until you have chronic migraines, resent your family for spreading you thin and you begin to feel like a doormat. Start today. Set your intention on rockin’ that crown proudly.

 

I wanted to share one of my favorite Oprah quotes and just googled it to find there was more to it. I’m excited to add this to the post:

Be A Queen by Oprah

 

Be a queen. Dare to be different. Be a pioneer. Be a leader. Be the kind of woman who in the face of diversity will continue to embrace life and walk fearlessly toward challenge. Take it on! Be a truth seeker and rule your domain, whatever it is—your home, your office, your family—with a loving heart.

Be a queen. Be tender. Continue to give birth to ideas and rejoice in your womanhood… my prayer is that we will stop wasting time being mundane and mediocre… we are daughters of God—here to teach the world how to love…

It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through, where you come from, who your parents are—nor your social or economic status. None of that matters. What matters is how you choose to love, how you choose to express that love through your work, through your family, through what you have to give to the world…

Be a queen. Own your power and glory!

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Cheers to my fellow daughters of God!
Please leave a comment and share if you’re going to dust off your crown and make sure to share this with your friends who need this call to action as well.
Love, Tiff

 

5 THINGS TO LET GO OF IN 2015: The 1st Motivational Vlog of the Year

Hey Chicas!

Grab a cup of coffee, tea or a kale smoothie (wink) and your iPad and have some girl time with me. This is the very 1st motivational vlog of the 2015 and this time I’m giving you a list of 5 things to stop doing instead of adding more things to your to-do list this year. As we all plan to go bigger and elevate every aspect of our life we have to get rid of and grow out of behaviors that hold us back from being our ultimate best!

The heartfelt comments women are leaving on this video have inspired me and deepened my passion for the purpose of SOS. Women around the world are being braver than ever right now and stepping into their destiny.

Are YOU joining us? 

I hope so.

Love, Tiff

STOP SHRINKING! You Are Meant to Live Big

 

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During my morning reading, the author made reference to my favorite quote by Marianne Williamson. I’ve loved this quote for many years, but the section that jumped out at me this morning was “your playing small does not serve the world”. This concept is part of the theme I want us all to live by this year! You may remember my new year wish that stated, “Laugh loud, love hard, live big”. Coming across this quote today solidified this theme for me.

Are you going to join me? 

Read the entire quote slowly:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 

― Marianne WilliamsonA Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

 

  • Have you been living small?
  • Are you afraid of your innate power?
  • Do you realize (really, really, realize) you are a child of God?
  • Do you dim your light and shrink around certain people?

I lived small, wasn’t powerful, didn’t know my worth as a child of God and would shrink back for years. I even wore brown, beige or black during that period. I know that’s why I was so drawn to this quote. It resonated with me and has been a driving force behind SOS.  2015 is our year to shine brighter and by doing so we will give others the freedom to shine their brightest as well. Yes, there will be those who feel threatened by your radiance, but DO NOT dim your light so they will feel comfortable. Some friends will prefer the small you because it makes them feel big. A true friend will grow with you and support the new, shinier you. Shrinking and dimming is truly a disservice to the world and a slap in God’s face. He created you to shine! 

The world does not need more women playing small. As my motto says, “confident women change the world”, so it’s time to stop dimming your light. The world is desperate for it. It’s time to stop holding back and start stepping out.. and struttin’ it! It’s time to stop crying and start laughing. It’s time to stop needing and start believing. It’s time to realize your gifts, share them and stop hiding them.

Small thinking leads to small actions which lead to a small life.

Big thinking leads to big actions which lead to a BIG LIFE.

Which do you choose?

Make a comment and share how you can live bigger in 2015.

Love, Tiff