STOP THE SELF-ABANDONMENT (video)

 

 

 

Hey Hey Gorgeous,

Sharing my heart on IGTV and reminding you that every time you choose to put on the mask instead of showing up as YOU, 100% authentically you — you abandon yourself and put yourself in a corner.

STOP.

Finding The SPIRITUAL Lesson in the PHYSICAL Issue (Instagram Live Replay)

 

Hey Hey Gorgeous,

This is a replay of an Instagram LIVE video I did recently sharing my recent learning lessons from an intense back injury. I’m so much much better now, but still after a month of healing — I’m not 100% and having to be conscious of how I move my body, how I pick up things, how I sit, how I sleep and overall just slow down a bit.

Love to hear your thoughts on this concept which may seem a bit counterintuitive.

Have you ever learned an important lesson from a physical injury or diagnosis?

A lifelong learner.

 

 

 

 

P.S.. Did you know I lowered the price on my signature digital course, Rock The Camera Online? Save $120 through Labor Day. You’re welcome;-)

CELEBRATE & BLOOM: Happy Easter

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I would like to start off wishing all of you who celebrate it…. A Very Happy & Blessed Easter!  Easter is a miraculous time of renewal and rebirth. I love this time of year for so many reasons, but especially on a spiritual level.  Everywhere you look there are signs of new life from the greener grass to the budding flowers and trees.  The birds are singing and the squirrels are playing.  How amazing is God’s Creation!?  On my power walk last week, I was thrilled to have all my senses heightened by the sights and smells of spring.

WooHoo! IT HAS OFFICIALLY ARRIVED!

Winter is a time when everything appears to die and lies dormant or is intentionally pruned back in order to grow bigger and better come spring.  We can feel like that at times as well.  Have you felt the pain of being pruned back and are now ready to bloom, shine brighter and live life larger?

Back in January, I shared that my life theme for 2015 is to “go bigger” and trust me, I’ve have many seasons of being pruned back. Who’s with me? Part of that pruning back is letting go of the things, behaviors or people who no longer serve our higher self. In order to bloom and become who you are truly meant to be and step into a new life, you have to snip some dead things off.  Grab those spiritual gardening shears and get to work.  Cheers to a fresh start and new beginning!

Since this is my blog & my world which I openly share with all of you, I would not be authentic if I didn’t mention the main reason this weekend is special to me. I’m so grateful for the cross and the resurrection power. I’m grateful for John 3:16 and God’s sacrifice for us, for you, for me. If you’ve watched my vlog’s you know I am transparent in sharing how messed up my life was until I allowed God back in. So, this weekend especially symbolizes the new life and second chance I’ve been given.

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This weekend, I encourage you celebrate your life, celebrate your family + friends and celebrate a fresh start + the opportunity to bloom…and grow bigger.

Love, Tiff

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Hey DFW Sistas, if you have done some spring cleaning in your closet and have gently used items to donate, please consider dropping them by the clothing drive for The Grace Project National Conference For Women Living With HIV on April 18th at 4054 McKinney Ave, Dallas 75204 in the parking lot. 

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Do You Have A Spirit Spot?

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Do you have a “spirit spot” or what I also like to call a “place of peace”

This morning as I was meditating, praying and writing in my journal, I became overwhelmed with gratitude for my “spirit spot”. I knew I had to share this with you on this beautiful Sunday. Seemed appropriate. When I started on my spiritual journey about 12-13 years ago, I found that early morning was the perfect time for me to pray, read and seek God. I am naturally an early bird so it was easy. As I began to see how this practice was transforming and strengthening me, I became addicted to my special morning time. On the mornings I was rushed and skipped it, I would be cranky, short tempered and anxiety-ridden the rest of the day. Now, I do not give up my morning ritual for anything or anyone! With all the people and responsibilities we have, it’s vital to start the day in peace (not frantic with anxiety) and equipped to handle it all.

 My “spirit spot” ended up being the couch in the living room complete with a comfy blanket, coffee, candle, Bible, books, journal, highlighter and my furry daughter, Zoe. Now, I realize that this spot works for me because I don’t have kids. A “spirit spot” can be any place YOU can get quiet, connect and feed your spirit. This could be a specific room in the house, on the patio overlooking the pool, a park bench or even in the shower or on the yoga mat.

One of the first things I discuss with my lifestyle mentoring/coaching clients is how they start their day. A common theme I have found among women who need my help, are disconnected from their spirit and constantly exhausted is that they jump out of bed to screaming kids or they hit the snooze button a million times.

If this is you- do you feel a rumbling of anxiety in your gut for the rest of the day? 

Then, I highly recommend getting up a bit earlier than your family. Even just 15 minutes earlier will transform how the rest of your day goes. I PROMISE! Is there a spot in your home where you feel calm? A spot where the minute you sit down you exhale and feel the stress drain off. This could be the perfect place of peace for you. If not, create one. Place things around you and in your view that create a sense of joy, peace and comfort in you. My spot in the living room has things that stimulate my senses in a positive way….

  • Furry blanket that is comforting, safe and cozy. (I skip this during the heat of Summer, of course!)
  • My baby girl Zoe, loves to lay in my lap which creates love and connection.
  • An aromatic candle which creates a calm zen atmosphere.
  • Fresh flowers- usually an orchid- which represents love, luxury, beauty and strength.  
  • Photos of my family and dearest friends which always reminds me to pray for them & send them positive thoughts. 

 

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Remember, it’s just as important what we feed our physical body as what we’re feeding our spirit. When you feed your body junk- ice cream, cookies, fried foods, preservatives- you become overweight, sluggish and become a breeding ground for diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure and more. You become what you eat. 

What you feed your spirit- YOU BECOME. Do you feed your spirit junk like too many violent/sexually immoral shows & movies, trash mags, too much voyeuristic time on social media and surrounding yourself with gossipers/backstabbers/criticizers?  Trust me– I am not perfect at this and indulge in some ridiculous, mind-sucking reality shows from time to time — but, I am cautious of how much time I spend on things like that. It’s important to be so in tune with your spirit, that you notice when these things are altering your character, behavior and your manner of speaking becomes negative.

Again, this is why it is crucial you begin the day filled up on positivity and peace. As the day goes on, we are bombarded with negative images, tragic news and perhaps a gossipy friend. If you begin the day depleted, whoa- no wonder so many women battle anxiety. I did for a long time!  Sistas, it’s no way to live. 

Please share your TWO CENTS on this subject and make a comment!

Share, tweet, like this post if you found it inspiring.

Love, Tiff xo

 

CHRYSALIS by Guest Author, Wendy Carter

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I am egg. I am goo. I am imaginal discs… the programming of spine, and masks, and wings with a dream of flying. 


Imaginal. 


Imagine.


Inside. 


I form. I hatch. I eat and shed my skin, and my masks come off, revealing the ever growing larval, child, and teenage faces.
I’m walking with wings beneath the skin of my growing body, and knowing, feeling the promise of them invisibly there, 
wondering, imagining, what will it be like to fly? 

I must try. 


The mask is tight. The skin must go. Go back to the goo.
So I coccoon. I form a chrysalis. Safe. Silken. Private. 


And I digest myself, and I rest from all of my eating, climbing, spinning and building. I liquidate into protein soup du’ imaginal discs. I am my own fuel for the rapid fire splitting and duplicating, triplicating, of cells I dream and sleep through. 


Then my antennae tingle, my legs, my eyes and genitals and wings… oh, my wings form as I dream of flying in the goo behind the mask in the glow of imagined sky in the imaginal disc of my brain.
And I dream myself together til the dreams and the wings take up too much space. The goo is gone, and I am hardening, and hungry, cramped, and bored. 


Cocooning stops here and now. It’s time. 


The chrysalis must go. This silken safe must go. There is only the memory of comfort here. 


It is time.


So I stretch, until there is hole, and the air is delicious. I stretch again. I stretch until I am baffled at my hugeness, and the beauty I have become. Wobbling and wet, clinging to the shell of my home.
My wings have eyes that see the sky. I must dry. 


I must rest. 


But there are others. I must know them. 


I must fly. 


It is time. 


So I exercise my wings, down, up down up down up… and adjust to the different lengths of my body. I remember… I remember so not being like this. I am shaped differently.

I am stronger. 


I climb. I hear and feel the call of the others. I see them on bushes beside me, and winging delightedly above. I too, am made for that impossibility.
A strong wind blows and I cling for dear life to the limb I’m considering letting go of, and feel I must be insane. Flying. I’d be oh so vulnerable. But oh so free. 

I climb.


And I reach the top, and my wobbling weight bows the upper leaves. My wings flutter a little and the leaf is relieved. My clinging feet are lifted.
When another wind blows and in a ripping screaming moment my home is gone. I am upside down and spinning, a blur of green and purple and broken home around me, flapping and flapping, and the flapping feels useless, until suddenly… 


it isn’t.


And I’m flying and the world looks different from up here and isn’t it wondrous this world? I am joy! I am lifted! I am life! I am young, and strong, and this final mask is mine, and I discover that I am beautiful.
And I am still hungry.

And I want company.

And I want love. 

And I can go anywhere. 

I am free!

Oh, God, I am light… thank you for this gift of making me 


A BUTTERFLY.

 

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SUNDAY AFFIRMATIONS OVERLOAD

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Hey Beautiful,

I was brainstorming and praying for guidance for this Sunday’s topic and was curious of when and how I started posting the Sunday Affirmations.  I looked back over the history of blog posts and found that I started them last June.  There are several new blog subscribers so I thought I would explain what it’s all about and why I chose Sunday to post affirmations. 

Last year, I started noticing a few of my girlfriends– who have small children– venting every Sunday night at how exhausted they were and they hated to start the week totally frazzled and depleted.  We should be refueled and raring to go on Monday morning, right?!  With a few small adjustments, I think we can all feel energized and at peace as we approach the end of the weekend and get prepared for the week.  By setting boundaries, taking “me time”, declining social invitations (and not feeling guilty about it), make a ‘must do’ list and saying positive affirmations– we set our mind and attitude toward having a successful week instead of dreading Monday.  I had fun reading through some of the old affirmations and decided to create a long inspiring list of ones that I need to REAFFIRM and thought you might as well!

THIS WEEK I WILL……

  • Follow my bliss.
  • Smile more.
  • Love + Laugh harder.
  • Embrace my own unique beauty + style.
  • Celebrate my life instead of complain about it.
  • Read a spiritually rich book.
  • Count my blessings every single day.
  • Put my shoulders back, walk tall + shine my light!
  • Drink plenty of water.
  • Pamper myself.
  • Walk in Grace + Peace, no matter what grouch crosses my path.
  • Love my body by getting enough exercise.
  • Shut up my Negative Nellie.
  • Wear my invisible crown because I am a Queen!
  • Try something new…new food, new route to work, new bold accessory.
  • Honor the healthy boundaries I’ve set.
  • Not leave the house w/o my best accessory….my beautiful smile.
  • Be courageous no matter how “wimpy” I may feel.
  • Eat foods rich in antioxidants because my body is a temple.
  • Practice more patience.
  • Help others without expecting anything in return.
  • See myself as healthy, whole, happy and HOT.
  • Send a “just because” hand written note to a dear friend.
  • Take time to decompress.
  • Compliment myself once a day.
  • Embrace that quirk about myself that I’ve always hated.
  • Remove “I’m worried that_” from my vocab.
  • Make more time for girltime.
  • Ignore catty women.  They’re just insecure…poor things.
  • Snack on blueberries + almonds instead of cheese nips + skittles.
  • CELEBRATE ME!
  • Turn my back on mediocrity.
  • Be fabulous not frazzled.
  • Not base my identity on how I look, what I wear or own. I am a Child of God!
  • Book a spa day + massage because I deserve it.
  • Check something fun off my bucketlist.
  • Focus on being healthy instead of the number on the scale.
  • Surround myself with other women of excellence.
  • Listen to a friend in need w/o having to “one up” her story.
  • Be integrity driven, not emotionally driven.
  • Believe in myself more than ever.
  • Choose the side salad instead of the fries.
  • Listen to my gut + stop ignoring it.
  • Start + end each day with a prayer of gratitude.
  • Have more fun w/ fashion + wear a flirty dress.
  • Walk in L-O-V-E not fear.
  • Surrender, take a deep breath and then exhale.
  • NEVER GIVE UP!
  • Step into my greatness…even if it’s one baby step in that direction.
  • Give myself a pat on the back instead of beating myself up.
  • Attend a movie, concert or seminar that inspires me.
  • Lift light weights regularly. It helps my bone density!
  • Go big + stop playing rinky-dink.
  • RADIATE!

I don’t know about you, but I’m totally amped up for the week ahead after reading that list! WooHoo!

Please tweet, pin, like + share this post with your peeps if you found it inspiring.  I appreciate it!

Go kick some serious bootie this week my sistas!

Love, Tiff

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P.S.  Several SOS Sistas + new YouTube subbies were asking me to get back on Instagram for my style pics + inspirational quotes.  I’m a wanna-be-photographer so I’m officially back on and loving it. 

Follow me @tiffanyhendra.

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{Heidi in Santa Monica}

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{Faux leather leggings + top from H&M, bracelet by Steele Jewel, vintage belt, earrings from Forever 21}

Make May A {{may}}zing!

Hello Precious Peacocks!

Join me in welcoming the month of May!  Woohoo!  Summer is around the corner.  I trust you all had a beautiful April.  I’ve been busy setting up the new studio, did my very first speaking engagements, took the most fabulous girls trip and started a new volunteer program teaching a small group of homeless pregnant women!  I swear, the minute I wrote that blog about getting out of your CZ (comfort zone) last month- opportunities opened up for me to take my own advice.  Funny how that works!   Getting out of your CZ awakens so many different emotions ranging from excitement to anxiety to pure bliss.  Your spirit is truly IGNITED!  Don’t get me wrong–  I have been to the point several times this month where I wanted to literally “crap my pants” and had to just face the fear, put on my imaginary Depends Underwear and GO FOR IT!   It’s very liberating and I highly recommend it! 

Join me for the month of May- I challenge us all to START making the necessary tweaks to our life to make it a whole lot more AMAZING!  My dear girlfriend Julianna Geldien shared a fantastic “to-do” list of 31 positive things we can all do to IGNITE THAT SPARK and I had to pass it along to you!   Are you ready…..

  1. Start spending time with the right people. (stop hanging with the negative Nelly’s)
  2. Start facing your problems head on.
  3. Start being honest with yourself about everything.
  4. Start making your own happiness a priority. (being a martyr is not pretty)
  5. Start being yourself- genuinely. (stop caring what other people think about you)
  6. Start noticing and living in the present.
  7. Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you.
  8. Start being more polite to yourself.
  9. Start enjoying the things you already have. (you’ll get more of it)
  10. Start creating your own happiness. (happiness is inside of all of us- we just need to unleash it)
  11. Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance. (you are preggars with possibilities- don’t abort your dreams before their you give them a chance to grow)
  12. Start believing that you’re ready for the next step. (just step out and go for it..even if it’s a baby step)
  13. Start entering new relationships for the right reasons.
  14. Start giving new people you meet a chance.
  15. Start learning from others and appreciating others gifts. (let go of pride + ego)
  16. Start cheering for others victories.
  17. Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations. (there’s a lesson in every circumstance)
  18. Start forgiving yourself and others.
  19. Start helping others and get your mind off yourself. ( this is the best natural anti-depressant)
  20. Start listening to your inner voice. (it will always take care of you)
  21. Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks.
  22. Start noticing the beauty of small moments. (when you get a grin from a baby)
  23. Start accepting things when they are less than perfect.
  24. Start working toward your goals and dreams every single day.
  25. Start being more open about how you feel. (remove the mask and keep it real)
  26. Start taking full accountability for your own life. (stop the blame game)
  27. Start actively nurturing your most important relationships.
  28. Start investing your energy in the things you can control. (stop wasting time on things beyond your control)
  29. Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes.
  30. Start realizing your unique gifts + talents. (stop comparing yourself to others and what they can do)
  31. Start noticing how wealthy you are RIGHT NOW. (you are so blessed)

Let’s all focus on one thing per day and regroup on May 31st to assess any changes, blocks or shifts that happened. So exciting!

Get ready for your light to shine brighter than ever! 

I am BEYOND excited to start shooting webisodes again and thank you for hanging in there with me during this transition!  I sense everything is going to a new level and I look forward to this next chapter with you all.  Don’t hesitate to share any topics you want to see!  I love getting ideas and feedback.

Remember, I’m all about giving you the tips to help you look good on the outside as well as “inner beauty” tips to help you feel good on the inside !  True, genuine and lasting beauty requires the dual-approach.  We can’t focus only on our outer appearance and neglect our spirit! Cheers to keeping it balanced and I have made it my mission to help you do so.

{{Shine On}}

With tons of love, Tiff

P.S.  Do your girlfriends a favor and invite them to join you on making the month of May simply AMAZING!  Share it, Follow it, Tweet it, Comment on it!

P.S.S. Are you on Pinterest?  How much fun is that thing!?!  It’s such a visually stimulating creative outlet.  Follow me: http://pinterest.com/sanctuarystyle

10 Ways To Stay Balanced & Sane:-)

Hey SOS Superstars!  

Who’s excited for the 2012 Academy Awards and all the red carpet glam this weekend?  If you’re on Twitter, connect with me and share your two-cents on the red carpet styles.  Follow me at www.twitter.com/sanctuarystyle

PLUS, I am learning Pinterest and slowly but surely creating boards! Like we have time for another Social Media account, but I totally get the obsession with this one!  I admit I’m getting addicted and and love the creativity.  If you’re like me and love Vision Boards, you have to join Pinterest and follow me at http://pinterest.com/sanctuarystyle . I created a board with my fave Oscar Moments.  I love this shot of Audrey Hepburn & Grace Kelly…

Ok, I’ve been brainstorming for this week’s blog and the topic of STAYING BALANCED has come up quite often among my friends.  It seems that everyone is feeling super crazy shifts and changes already this year.  We always start off the new year with a full tank of motivation, but can putter out quickly and start running on fumes from our busy day-to-day routine.  I don’t know about you, but I am not efficient, productive, creative or my happiest when I’m unbalanced.  I have learned the tools, the boundaries, the steps to keep myself from getting OFF KILTER.   If you’re tank is close to E (empty), here’s 10 ways we can keep our tank FULL and stay balanced & sane this year…

  1. Nurture your spirit:  Think of those things you did as a child that made you giddy and all warm & fuzzy on the inside. I loved playing outside when I was little!  So as an adult, the things that feed my spirit are usually activities out in nature.  A hike. Walk on the beach. A drive with the top down in a convertible.  Make time every week for an activity that makes you feel free, giddy and all warm & fuzzy!
  2. Prayer & Meditation:  I am a firm believer in starting your day with prayer & meditation. Taking the time to be still, get quiet and calm the inner chatter in your mind is one of THE MOST POWERFUL things you can do to stay balanced.  If you jump out of bed and immediately check your phone or emails, notice how easily “off kilter” the rest of your day will be.  Prayer is more than giving God a list of “to do’s”.  Focus on counting your blessings and giving gratitude!  This will bring you peace and an emotional state of well-being.
  3. Journaling:  Getting the thoughts out of your head and down on paper is extremely cathartic.  I began journaling about 10 years ago and it was like opening the flood gates!  If you keep all those thoughts bottled up eventually you can implode.  Start simple by logging your hopes, dreams, fears and things you’re grateful for. There is no magic formula to journaling and the method you go about it is a personal thing.  It’s fun to go back and read your progress and growth!
  4. Start a vision board.  Being an artist and a very visual person, I have been creating vision boards since I was a little girl and still do!  You are never too old to make a vision board.  This can be a super creative and fun way to keep your intentions, dreams and goals in plain site on a daily basis.  I prefer using a large cork board and clear tacks.  Cut out photos from magazines and newspapers of images that align with your goals and the vision for your life.  I also love to add powerful affirming words.  Make sure to hang it in a place you will see it on a regular basis.  As specific goals come to pass, remove them from the board and add new ones. This keeps it fresh and makes for a fun project all year long.
  5. Get a mentor.  Sharing your thoughts, goals and dreams with a person you admire and who has your best interest at heart is a powerful way to stay accountable. The definition of mentor: a trusted friend, counselor or teacher, usually a more experienced person. If you have someone in mind, simply ask them if they would be your mentor.  Being a mentor is a serious responsibility and honor.
  6. “Me” time:  This is especially important if you have children!  Do something ALONE every week that brings you joy.  It can be a simple as locking yourself in the bathroom and enjoying a long bubble bath.  I love to “flutter” around for an afternoon…go where ever I feel led to go- BY MYSELF!  I love to pop in one of my favorite shops, stop and grab lunch or get a mani/pedi.  For many, in order for this step to take place, you have to set boundaries with the people in your life that require much of your attention.  Mom’s you even need to set boundaries with your kids! This step is one of the most important ways to STAY SANE!
  7. Move your bootie:  Finding an exercise you love and moving your body is another very important way to stay balanced.  Working out not only helps the size of your thighs, but it helps your mind stay sharp and keeps your emotions under control.  If you get bored with your workout routine, change it up!  Try a new class like this Zumba everyone is raving about.  Just move that butt!  Sitting around wallowing and being sedentary will only inflame any emotional instability or depressed feelings.
  8. Be a giver:  One of the best natural anti-depressants is getting your mind off yourself and helping someone else.  This doesn’t have to be complicated and you don’t have to find a non-profit org to support.  Maybe it’s as easy as calling your lonely widowed aunt and checking on her. Maybe it’s offering to babysit your girlfriends kids so she and her hubby can have a date night without paying for a babysitter.  There’s a million creative ways to give!  It’s a total win-win…you, the giver, feels joy and so does the receiver.
  9. Girl Time:  On a regular basis, make time for special dinners, lunches, shopping dates or weekend trips with your girlfriends.  With the added responsibilities that come with being a wife and/or mother, making time for your girlfriends can be a challenge. BUT, it’s vital for women to connect.  It’s part of our lively-hood. Pick up the phone right now and plan a girlie lunch with a dear friend.  Girl Time does wonders for me…and for my hubby!  It makes me a much better wife!
  10. Join or start a group/class.  Surrounding yourself with like-minded people is a wonderful way to give and receive support.  This can be a book club, a cycling group or runners group, a prayer circle or even taking a cooking or photography class.  I am part of an amazing Spiritual Empowerment Group of Spiritually conscious, intelligent, loving and powerful career women who want to make a difference in the world.  If you cannot find a group to join, think about starting one!  It will change your life!

Staying balanced & sane is possible- no matter what is going on around us.  It’s a choice!  Decide to TODAY that you will do whatever it takes, you will use the necessary tools and you will set boundaries in order to keep from running on fumes! Cheers to sanity:-)

FINAL THOUGHT:

I must share these words of wisdom from my bestie LeeAnne Locken,

“Every setback is a setup for a comeback! God wants to bring you out better than you were before! Every trial we face, comes from the hand of God, who wants us to grow.  If your wise enough, you will see that disruptive moments are really divine appointments. We must learn to LOOK FOR THE LESSON! There is always one there making you a stronger person! The lessons prepare you for an abundant life! Now get out there and MAKE THIS DAY SPARKLE”! ♥
  • Share this blog post with any friends you have that may be feeling off kilter!
  • Comment and share  any ways you have found that help you STAY SANE!

With abundant love and appreciation,

Tiff 

Meet my drop-dead-gorgeous sister Natalie Bolton

My sister, Natalie, is a refreshing combination of tough-as-nails tomboy with the looks of a Victoria’s Secret model!   She kicked some serious butt on “Survivor” which led her on a Spiritual & Physical journey which she shares with us on the latest webisode….